The boys often pick out school library books that relate to themes we've been discussing at home. Somehow recently Nate brought up dictators, which led to a discussion about Hitler and the Holocaust so he brought home a WW2 book to read more. This last week, to go with a Benjamin Franklin/president themed play he's in at school, Alex brought home a huge book detailing the term of every president.
At bed time, the boys wanted to go through the president book so I thought it would be fun to walk through each of the presidents who died in office and how they died (talking too long outside dressed inappropriately! eating tainted cherries and milk!). When we got to Abraham Lincoln, not only did they know he had been shot in the head, but they knew he freed the slaves. And Alex said in his tiny little voice, "What is a slave?"
I've talked with my mom friends a lot about how one of the hardest parts of parenting is watching their naivety slowly slip away. It's one thing to explain there was a really horrible man in another country who rounded up all these people and killed them. It's another to explain that in our country, we used to steal people and enslave them. Their little minds are always filled with so many questions, some of which I can answer and some of which I don't want to answer. At the same time, these are great teaching moments, both for them and for me.
7 comments:
its too bad we can't bottle up their innocence we we think about all the things the still have to learn about the realities of the world.
Oh it's so hard, but better that they start learning from you and having you explain things to them in ways that they can slowly start to understand.
We've been through that a lot since moving to Gettysburg and visiting the battlefield so often. The girls were five when we moved here, and we would take them out to walk and climb rocks, but we never talked about what happened. Then one day they started noticing monuments, and started asking about soldiers, and then it moved to war and why they were shooting at each other, and then also to Abraham Lincoln and slavery.
I think many of these things are still so abstract to them that the true horror doesn't present itself until they are older. At least that's what I tell myself. But it's just another reminder of how they are growing up, and that's always tough! I try to finish off any tough topic with a reminder that even when people do bad things or bad things happen (natural disasters, Sandy Hook, war, etc.) that there are always people trying to help and working to make things better. There is so much good in this world too.
So funny because a co-worker (without children) came to me this morning and said she wanted me to know just how much my blog post about Dean and the rapper had affected her. She wanted to talk about, so we did, and she was grateful I was so open. At the end of our conversation, we agreed that more people need to talk about these things, among themselves and their friends, and even with their kids -- even if the subjects are tough ones to broach with children. If we all keep silent, nothing will ever change. I'm glad that there are people like you, Laura, who believe it's important not to shy away from tough topics, but to confront them head on in ways that kids can grasp. Because of you and Beth and Angel and other friends I know, I feel hopeful that my boys will experience a world that values and respects them.
It's always shocking when I realize that "all of that" was NOT that long ago. Gives me great hope for the next 200 years.
I am really, really dreading these questions. Especially since slavery - in the form of human trafficking - is still so prevalent and so rarely talked about. If you think slavery is over... the heartbreaking truth is out there. How do I teach my son about how broken the world is without breaking him? God I've got a few more years before those questions start.
Oh man, I am with you.
Also, on a semi-related note, Alaina and I just read "It's Not the Stork!" cover to cover and, holy cow, that book was awesome. What a great resource. Thanks for the recommendation on that!
We have been having so many of these conversations lately! The ones about race, slavery, our ancestorors, etc are really interesting. I want my boys to understand what it means to be African American but I don't want it to be a burden on them - they are NOT growing up in "that" world thankfully. Talking about Obama's place in history led to a very good conversation - no matter what people think about his politics, it is a BIG DEAL to us that he is the first black president. J just can't grasp WHY he is the first black president, which is where the questions come up - WHY couldn't black people be president before? WHY couldn't they vote? WHY couldn't they be educated? The WHY is hard to explain.
We also had an interesting conversation about the fact that people can be famous for good and bad things - Chris Brown and Rihanna came up, and *that* line of questioning was actually harder for me to answer than the race stuff.
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