Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Another letter to my sons

Dear Nate and Alex,

Yesterday we had a very disappointing day in North Carolina. When your dad and I had "We Voted!" stickers last week, we talked with you about the upcoming vote. When we told you people were voting to make it even more illegal (because it is already illegal) for boys to marry boys and girls to marry girls, your sweet beautiful almost 6 year old minds were shocked and upset.

I refuse to say anything hateful or negative about the outcome. We are a family who believes in love. We are a family that believes that if you want a pink water bottle, you can have a pink water bottle. We believe you can wear jewelry, wear barrettes in your hair, and paint your nails fire engine red if that is what you want to do.... no matter what anyone says. We believe you are perfect just the way you are.




Nails

If you figure out one day you are gay, you are safe here. You will have gay friends at school. You have gay relatives. Members of our church are gay. We have gay friends. I want all of these people... and you two... to know you are safe here because we believe in love. We believe you were born beautiful just the way you are.

We believe you are PERFECT just the way you are.

On days like this, it will be hard to be positive. When you experience moments like this, I want you to remember the wise words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr:

 "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."


We have many hopes for our future, but fundamentally, we hope that your hearts are full of love and that you put that out into the world. We hope that you love people as they are. We hope that you believe people are perfect as they are. With so much love, there is no room for hate.

Growing up in the South, you will learn much about the Bible and we hope you hold John 13:34 close to your hearts:

"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another."

With love,
Your crazy hippie parents

41 comments:

Beth said...

Amen.

Brandy said...

Thank you.

alicia said...

Beautiful as ever.
Perhaps the most.

Maria said...

Perfect.

Lindsay Maloan said...

I can't say what any of these people haven't already said. Pure, beautiful, perfection. Bravo.

DCAngel said...

*sigh* The world needs more "crazy hippie parents."

Well said.

Tracey said...

Beautiful

Jodi said...

YOU awesome. Well said.

Tanika Davis said...

Yes. This. All day long.
(P.S. As a black woman, and a Christian, I HATE how the diabolical anti-marriage folks have hoodwinked black folks and Christians into being against civil rights for all human beings. That just burns me up!!)

Irene said...

I am feeling pretty down about the outcome. I can only hope that when our kids are old enough to vote, more people will know other "non-traditional" families and realize that they are just as capable of love.

Michelle said...

Thanks, Laura. It's a sad day to be a North Carolinian. The only thought that is giving me hope is another MLK quotation: "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." I am confident this mean-spirited amendment will be overturned, certainly within our lifetimes.

Michelle said...
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Michelle said...
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Michelle said...

(I'm sorry for the deleted posts--for some reason my response was posted three times!)

Amanda said...

Thank you for saying what the rest of the NC residents agree with.

Anandi Raman Creath said...

move to washington state? :)

nicely written.

windycityvegan said...

I was disgusted to the point of nausea last night when I heard the final election results (but not at all surprised). HOWEVER, today I am moved to tears with all of the messages of positivity and love, rather than vitriole and hate, from those of us who wanted Amendment One defeated.

Have you seen this vimeo?

Oh, and I linked to this blog post on FB, your letter to the boys sums up everything I have to say on this matter perfectly.

And of course I think that hippie parents rule!

Jamie McQ said...

Fantastic. Yes yes yes.

C said...

This is exactly what I needed. Thank you!

Joanna said...

Thank you.

t + j said...

Yes.

Gillian said...

love

Liz said...

LOVE.

Liz said...

LOVE.

heather v said...

Beautiful letter to N and A that they are loved unconditionally.

While not surprised given the rural to urban population in NC, I had hoped that reason would prevail.

I am reminded that legalized hate disguised as states’ rights was finally overturned when Civil Rights cases reached the Supreme Court.

My hope is that the right case will reach the federal courts and end government sanctioned declarations of hate.

rubber7soul said...

Beautifully written!

erinlaughs said...

Love your letter!

We have an amendment against gay marriage coming up for vote in November and I am dreading it. Watching everything that has happened in the last 24 hours makes me so nervous. You hope and pray that everyone around you leads with love as well, but it isn't always the case.

Beth said...

Love your response. What a wonderful writer and beautiful person you are. I'm proud to be your friend.

thellfamily said...

Thank you Laura. I needed to hear more from the 40%.

Amanda said...

Beautiful letter!

Brooke* said...

'like'...a whole lot

Julie said...

Perfect.

MeAndBaby said...

Great post. Thank you so much for sharing.

JenFen said...

Beautifully written, thank you.

claudia said...

Well put.

claudia said...
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Flesworthy said...

What a great post, I couldn't agree more.

El Murphero said...

Great post Laura! You demonstrate what UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is of your sons - letting them find and define their own paths amd loving them for it.

From anoth crazy hippie parent,
Jason

El Murphero said...

Great post Laura! You demonstrate what UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is of your sons - letting them find and define their own paths amd loving them for it.

From anoth crazy hippie parent,
Jason

pghmom2 said...

So inspiring and wonderful! What lucky, lucky kids you have. :)

pghmom2 said...

So inspiring and wonderful! What lucky, lucky kids you have. :)