The problem is also compounded by Jon being gone. This week has been particularly difficult because he's in Europe and we've only been able to talk twice. Usually if he's gone, I can talk to him about everything and we come up with a plan together. Not this week.
I'm not writing about any of this to complain about my life. I just want to keep it really refreshingly real. I never want my blog to be a place where everything is hunky dory and perfect, because I think it sets an unrealistic expectation of parenting to other parents. I also feel this strong need to be HEARD right now. And as a rookie with TWO kids going through this at the same time, I need advice.
What has been getting me through is photography. Last night the boys helped me with some of my photography homework.
We played a game where the boys took the little camera and each got to take four pictures of whatever they wanted. It turned into this crazy game where they chased each other through the house trying to snap photos of each other. They laughed and giggled and had a blast. We all laughed.
Then suddenly out of nowhere, one kid did something really rude so I told him to go to time out. He stuck out his tongue and spit at me, so I sent him immediately to bed for the night. That is what this entire week has been like. Everything great one minute, everything terrible the next, with no warning. Rationally I know this is what every other sleep transition has been like, but this is the first one where they can TALK to tell me their feelings yet they can't seem to articulate that they are tired or have too much energy. Me = rookie all over again.
I know this will pass. And I will keep trying everything in my parenting arsenal, the biggest weapons of course being tons of love, attention, and hugs for them.
11 comments:
You know how they say getting married is up there with death of a loved one on the list of stressful life events? This reminds me of that. Just because something is a really positive event overall doesn't mean it's not a major transition and a time of stress/change/upheaval. I know you already know that, of course. But even still, I feel like it sometimes takes me by surprise how stressful and chaotic some of these transitions are. It reminds me to brace myself for the start of preschool in a few weeks. As much as we are ALL looking forward to it, I need to remember that there will probably be a temporary upswing in crap behavior at home for a little bit.
Also, big ups on keeping it real. There was a mom of newborn twins at my twin club meeting the other night, gushing about how it's such a happy time and blah blah. Not only do I think she was either lying or in denial, I sometimes feel like publicly ignoring the hard parts is a disservice to yourself and to other moms.
/soapbox
Dang, Goddess pretty much said everything I was going to say. I guess that's why she's a Goddess.
The good thing with kids is that as soon as you adjust to this new form of crazy, they will change and it will be a different form of crazy.
So 5 is when I can send Cameron to bed as a punishment sans dinner? Good to know :-) I alway struggle with the age appropriate corrective measures...my, aren't I PC today!
I have good friends whose daughter is going to kindergarten in September. Three weeks ago her daycare class cut out naps to prep the kids for it. Such a smart move! They had two rough weeks, but at least she went through that before the kindergarten transition. I need to remember that one and talk my daycare into doing it!
This post was helpful to me because my boys are at that LOVELY age where their brains are working way faster than their bodies or language skills and thus they are cranky and frustrated ALL the time. And so it is helpful to read that even when children can talk, it doesn't mean they always know just what to say or how to act. Come to think of it, many grown-ups I know (including me and Lester on occasion) get frustrated and sleepy and over-worked and on and on and on and then guess what? The moodiness, crabbiness or bad behavior slinks it way into an otherwise wonderful day. So, thinking about that makes me (and I hope you) know that this is all just part of life, and you're not doing anything wrong. In fact, you seem to be doing everything right -- and your prize will come in 25 years when Nate and Alex have babies of their own, they're pulling their hair out, and you get to be Grandma and avoid all the stinkiness! Yay!
Hang in there Sista! I think we're all a little clueless here in the Hahn household about what a big transition it's going to be. Like having kids, you never know what it's REALLY going to be like until you're in it! I may have to steal this post three weeks from now.
So helpful to know, thank you! Hope things get easier, and that J's around for a while after Europe. Whenever E's away and I compare myself to single parents, I remind myself that they don't get the shared decision making and phone/email support that I get tons of...
Goddess in Progress' comment about bracing for the school year is right. Any major change in our schedule can spark insane behavior in my kids and sometimes their sleep hasn't changed, or at least the schedule hasn't. Maybe the quality of sleep has because of their level of exhaustion or when they last ate or whatever.
School starts next Wednesday and while I am really really excited, I'm trying to keep myself grounded in reality. While the time to work uninterrupted will be fantastic, the hours between 4 and bedtime and 7 to 8:30 a.m. are going to be intense, difficult, challenging, confusing, frustrating, emotional, etc.
I wonder if your guys are working on a sleep transition but also testing boundaries because they are doing a new big-boy thing, and also dealing with a new teacher's rules, and need to figure out if the rules are still the same at home.
Hang in there!!!
I have been going through the same. I told my husband that after just TWO days of K, I feel like he is a different child. He is waaay more hyper than he has EVER been. Will be fine one minute and then say something extremely rude/smart alleck the next. Its like he thinks he is mr. bigshot now that he is in school! From what I have heard he is awesome at school, I guess he is just coming home and going nuts!! good luck Im sure we will all get thru it!! =)
I'm just talking out of my ass, not having big kids :) but I wonder if this is the same version of what happens when we sent T to daycare in the beginning. Her teachers would remark about how quiet and mellow she was, and then she'd come home and totally fall apart- crying, clingy, hyper, not sleeping well, etc.
I read somewhere (AskMoxie?) that maybe they keep it all in during the day because it's an unfamiliar environment and save it up for you because they feel safe with you/at home? Just a thought.
I have a 5 year old as well (a may '06 one, too), and she behaves in the exact way you describe - going from extremely sweet, grateful, thoughtful, almost adult-like person to a temperamental, rude, sticking her tongue out toddler-like child. It definitely gets worse during the school year when she is more tired, overwhelmed with new information, gets less sleep etc. I do have a wild 16-month toddler though who is totally uncontrollable, hyper active, screams, throughs his food around and all the rest of it, so by comparison, the 5-year old seems like an angel LOL! Just saying it could be worse (as I am sure you remember!!!)
Post a Comment