Stop the presses, I read another parenting book

At this stage in the parenting game, I rarely find parenting books I would recommend. Of course I still always recommend the Louise Bates Ames series of developmental books, but I've come to believe many of the parenting "experts" out there are really no different than parents like you and me, except they've written a book.

(All of this does NOT apply to researchers and people who study large populations and then write books with FACTS. I still recommend those.)

I recently read a book that I wished I had read the first year of Nate and Alex's life: "How She Really Does It: Secrets of Successful Stay-at-Work Moms." I would highly recommend this book to any working mom.

I refuse to get into any kind of working mom versus stay-at-home mom debate because I truly believe there are pros and cons to each option. I also believe it is a personal choice and my overriding opinion is that a happy, fulfilled mother is a good mother.

Yet our current society has placed such a strong emphasis on being a "perfect" mother - one who relishes all of the aspects of parenting (even the gross ones, like cleaning up vomit), one who smiles through the tantrums, one who makes homemade treats for every school holidays, one who never runs out of patience, one who cries when she drops off her kids and can't wait for the minute she picks them back up, and one who places their kids above everything else in their lives.

Sorry, that's not me. It never will be.

When I went back to work, I often heard snide comments like:

• Oh that's too bad you have to be away from your babies so much.
  
• Do you want someone else to raise your children?
• Jon makes a lot of money so why do you work?
• If you quit your job, you'd have so much more time to take care of sick kids/volunteer in the classroom/work out/pursue hobbies.
  

Each of these makes my blood boil because they are so judgmental of my CHOICE to work outside the home. Since the age of 18 (almost 20 years!) I have been working hard on my career and that didn't stop when I had kids. Yet it is totally fine in our culture to say things like the above to working moms, all of which I consider horribly rude and condescending of the choices I've made.

Back to my point... this book was AMAZING to me because it was the first book I've ever read that emphasizes the positives of being a working mom. It featured moms like me, moms who chose to continue their careers and try to balance their personal goals with raising children. I've always known that continuing to work has made me the best mom I can be, and it was so refreshing to hear it over and over in this book from other mothers.

None of this was new information to me, but I had so much guilt the first year because I didn't "fit the mold." All around me, I saw women quit their jobs because they didn't want to be away from their babies. I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with me that I was missing that gene. I've resolved a lot of that guilt by now because I know it was the right choice, but this book would have made my road a little easier in the beginning. This book would have helped me see there are plenty of other moms out there like me.

Also if I had this book then, when someone said something judgmental about my choice to work, I would have had something to shove where the sun don't shine.