Another exciting milestone: lightning bugs

Nate and Alex saw lightning bugs for the first time Friday night. It was INCREDIBLE. They screamed. They yelled. They were amazed when I caught them. Every time one lit up, they would shout with joy.

The whole world would be a happier place if it were always lightning bug season.

My mom bought them bug nets then it rained for four days. Four long days of no lightning bug sightings. Yesterday there was no rain and so we caught lightning bugs.

My boys are crazy awesome at catching lightning bugs in nets. I had no idea. It might be their secret superpower, that's how good they were at catching them. After some time in the front yard, we went in the backyard and let them catch lightning bugs until well past their bedtime. They loved it. We loved it. It was the next best thing to being a kid again.



I am sure none of you will be surprised by this picture of Alex. The only surprising part was there was no injury requiring band-aids.



This transition into full manual on my camera is a maddening process. The shot of Nate above? Exactly as I envisioned it in my head. I feel like the switch to manual is helping me create the shots I want to create but there are so many factors, so many dials to change, so much happening so fast!

What drives me crazy when I read other blogs is people show only awesome pictures and they talk about duds but never show duds. I am guilty of it too. I will take 100 pictures then show you one and you think I take good pictures. So time to be honest... here is an underexposed dud.



But I'm not just screwing them up that way! Here is an overexposed dud. Nate is practically glowing.



In general, switching to manual is improving my pictures significantly. I have DrewB's UNManual to thank for the awesome pointers that are making this transition much easier. If you are interested in photography, I would highly recommend checking out Momtog. Love this free resource!

(DrewB recently shot a wedding at the Athenaeum, the faculty club where I worked as a waitress at Caltech. If you want a glimpse into what my college campus looked like, check it out! I worked so many weddings there; it's simply gorgeous. And the pictures where the bridge and groom are kissing near a lamp post... that is in front of Page House, my fraternity.)

Back to the mommy blog... the pictures, they are improving. The life, it is still good. This kid, he cracks me up even when he exhausts me.



Don't leave any comments calling them fireflies or you are dead to me.

A lesson on using proper names with kids and more chaos

Earlier this week, it was pouring rain at swim team. Nate ran over to find me huddled under the shelter with all the other parents because he was cold (cold pool, cold rain). I picked him up in an odd way trying to avoid getting soaked and he yelled, "That hurts my p*nis and t*sticles!"

Hello swim team parents!

I've mentioned before I get drained by chaos. Having contractors in the house the last two months almost drove me insane. So you can imagine how I am feeling right now as we need to prepare to leave for a family trip to Ohio and our hot water heater started leaking. It's original to the house (20 years) so it's better to just replace it.

Which means there is a plumber here today to replace it.
And the water is shut off to the house. No laundry, dish washing, showering, toilet flushing. Let me repeat: no toilet flushing.

Have I mentioned Jon and I telecommute?

TV detox is ON, want to join me?

I have decided to go ahead with my 30 day tv detox, starting today. The inspiration didn't come from watching too much tv. The inspiration came from an unhappy place inside me where I feel constantly stretched and exhausted lately. I know part of the tiredness is a very busy summer schedule, but the larger part of the tiredness is spending time in the wrong places.

I want to spend more time on my photography. I want to read more books. I want to exercise more (I'm currently running 20 miles a week but I want to add in yoga and fun classes.). I want to spend more quality time with Jon when he is home. I want to go to bed at a reasonable hour and get enough sleep.

I have three exceptions to the no tv rule:

1. One movie a week with Jon as in-home date night.
2. SYTYCD with visitors.
3. Watching stuff on the treadmill. With the heat coming to town, I'm moving some running indoors and watching stuff makes me run longer. Win win!

Surprisingly I am very excited about not watching tv because my mind is reeling with the possibilities of things I can do with that time. I'll post throughout the 30 days to check in and discuss my thoughts. In the end, I hope this experiment makes me a better mother and wife. Gotta tie it back to the mommy blog!

Swim team update: week 1

In the first week of swim team, Alex didn't get in the water a single time. He is an enthusiastic stretcher and jumping jacker but he claims the water is too cold. The coaches and parents have assured us this is normal for the littlest ones.

In the first week of swim team, Nate was a fish. At dinner on Wednesday, he explained freestyle to us. He jumps in the water, mostly refuses a kickboard, and gets upset when he doesn't get to do enough laps. He is still not swimming 100% on his own but he is getting there.

In the first week of swim team, I learned:

• The boys' poolside antics that drive us crazy are seen as normal and endearing by the Big Sharks.
• I can not believe the energy level of the teenagers. I am often tired lately. Getting older sucks.
  
• Adding in an extra daily activity to an already crazy schedule requires some additional planning and communication.
• Swim team swims in the rain, which means the parents will get wet.
• In theory, the parent will get 45 minutes to relax, chat, and read. In reality, in those 45 minutes there are constant interruptions for potty breaks, food breaks, whining about rain breaks, and "came over to say hi" breaks.

I'm very excited to see how much progress the boys make over the summer!

Pictures pictures pictures

Our weekend with grandma Jen and John was fantastic, lots of running around and enjoying ourselves. They got to see the boys in action at swim team and visit Duke Gardens before the ridiculous rain storms moved in and had us inside the rest of the weekend.

I didn't bust out my camera because we had TWO family photo shoots this weekend. We did some family shots at Duke and in downtown Durham with a new photographer and I am VERY excited about how they will turn out! On Sunday we trekked down to Portrait Innovations because my mom loves going there and they do a great job entertaining kids for studio pictures.

Can you have enough pictures of your kids? No. And the boys had a blast at PI, even Nate, who was laughing and hamming it up:



Some of the pictures are uber cheesy, like the ones where they asked the boys to stand in front of a fake wall and make a mean face. This picture cracks me up every time I look at it because it is so cheesy. That look!



Thanks mom and John for visiting us! Come back soon!

(And yes other grandparents and great-grandmas, I have PI pictures for you.)

Today I am bouncing around between all five stages of loss at the end of Lost. Some moments are filled with anger, some with sadness, some with denial, but (NO SPOILERS) overall I have accepted the end and am glad they went out on a high note. BEST SHOW EVER.

Friday gumbo, mostly about TV

* In continuing with our busy summer schedule, my mom and her husband John arrive today just in time to see the boys at swim team. We have said "her husband John" so much the boys started calling him "HerHusbandJohn." Family pictures this weekend!

* I think the entire country will be at a standstill on Sunday for the series finale of Lost. Our house will be! For the record, I have always been Team Jack and I have never liked Sawyer. But then I am lame because I like good guys and have never gone for the bad boys. Plus could Sawyer please stand up straight for once?!

* I'm going to reconsider that lameness. I am awesome for never going for the bad boys. I hope to teach my boys that Good Guys Always Win. Look, Jon won me so my theory must be right.

* Glee makes me feel old. I watched the episode where they did Bust a Move and everyone said it was old school. Old school to me is Rapper's Delight. Considering I watched the original V on TV and the new one, I may have to admit I AM old.

* After all the series finales, I am going on a 30 day TV fast. A detox, if you will. It's been four years since I've been off bed rest so I can't blame it for my TV problems anymore. I made peace with this decision then last night I read they are doing SYTYCD All Stars (!!!) AND Lindsay and Ann are both visiting during my planned 30 day TV fast!!!

* My new plan is to do a 30 day TV fast with two exceptions. I can watch one movie a week with Jon since we do that as an in-home date night. And if I have the two friends who love SYTYCD as much as I do in my home, it is okay to watch it with them if we are also drinking and chatting. The intent of the fast is to break the cycle of watching TV just to do something.

* The fact that most of this post is about TV means I need a break from TV.

* SYTYCD All Stars!!!!!!!!

WOW! I am Delish!

I am very proud to report my rinky dinky blog was featured in a fantastic new publication, Delish Magazine. Check me out on page 14! I absolutely loved the issue! For those of you new here, I thought I'd tell you a little about myself and my family.

I started this blog the day I found out I was pregnant. At week 17, we learned there were two boys in my very large belly. Alex and Nate were born at 36w3d in May 2006 one minute apart, weighing 6lb1oz and 6lb3oz. This is me at 36 weeks.




People always ask how we can tell them apart. Um... Alex has brown hair and brown eyes and Nate has blond hair and blue eyes. They are polar opposites in everything. Extrovert/introvert, early bird/night owl, picky eater/will eat anything but the one thing they have in common is their insane cuteness.



I am one busy bee. I work full time in a successful software career doing data warehousing. Jon, the nicest man you will ever meet, also works full time in a software career doing MDM. He travels. A lot. We both telecommute. Telecommuting is so awesome that I never talk about our jobs here.

Jon's a foot taller than me. I wore 6 inch platform flip flops for our wedding so our pictures would look good. I also tanned before our November wedding. Last fall I had skin cancer, so in hindsight that an insanely dumb idea. Please use sunscreen on your kids or I will yell at you.



In my free time, I photograph, read, and run. If I try to jam in more than that, I lose my life balance. You can read book reviews and see the evolution of my photography on this blog. My rad friend Erin and I are currently racing to see who runs 500 miles first in 2010. You can join us.




Other interesting things about me? I have a bionic ear aka Robo Ear. I eat chocolate every day. I have a degree in environmental engineering from an awesome school and I never use it except to explain to the science of global warming. It's real people! I recently did Mondo Beyondo and it was one of the most inspiring adventures of my life. I wrote my Mondo list here. You should write one too.

My blogging goal, besides documenting these wonderful years, is to create a community that helps me be the best mother I can be. I have made some amazing friends through this site. I am not very religious but right now I am praying (or thinking good thoughts, whatever floats your boat, I am a hippie Unitarian after all) for my blogfriend Becky, who has pre-eclampsia at 23 1/2 weeks and is on strict bed rest while taking care of her 3 year old twins. Hopefully you will stick around my blog, let me know who you are, and add Becky to your positive thoughts!

I'm rarely in front of the camera but here's a recent family photo taken in our recently renovated half bath. This picture was taken in spring before the North Carolina humidity worked its afro magic.

First day of swim team

I know people typically say this of fashion but when I see the boys in these swimsuits, I die.


Cons of swim team:

• We need to figure out a new evening scramble. We don't get home until after 6 and the boys are used to eating by 5:45.
• Practice every single day limits what evening activities we can do as a family.
• There might have been some overtired hangry crying. Hopefully that will get better as we work out a new routine.
  

Pros of swim team:

• They learn to swim!
• They get assigned an older buddy to help them. They're called Little Sharks, the buddy is called a Big Shark. Again, I die.
• The parents are not allowed to hang around practice so the coaches can have full authority. 45 minutes every day poolside with a book or iphone = worth every penny of swim team.

In other related news, Nate decided he is now a Big Boy and can use the pool restroom by himself. Of course Alex tagged along. I was a bundle of nerves standing outside the bathroom waiting for them to emerge then I interrogated them. Did you pee (yes), did you flush (yes), did you wash your hands?

Nate held up his hands and said, "Smell them mommy. They smell like soap." Again, I die.

Tenth circle of hell

After passing through Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Avarice, Wrath, Heresy, Violence, Fraud, and Betrayal, you will learn there is a tenth circle of hell.

In the tenth circle of hell, you will take twin four year boys who are in the "ask a million questions about everything but do not listen to answers" phase to the first day of swim team after talking it up for AN ENTIRE YEAR. You will do this by yourself because your husband is out of town. You will suit up these overexcited wiggly boys into the tightest knee-length swimsuits you've ever seen.

Five minutes before practice starts, the sky will open up in a torrential downpour complete with thunder and lightning and swim team will be canceled.

Not only will the boys proceed to ask you a 1001 questions (why is it raining, what does electrocuted mean, why can't you stop the rain, what about swim team???), they will also alternate between sobbing and whining at epic levels. You will be powerless to stop the sobbing or whining because you will be surrounded by parents of other children, huddled under the only shelter from the rain.

You will then be faced with the choice to sit and listen to the whining and sobbing, or go out into the rain with two four year olds and get completely soaked head to toe. Your bigass golf umbrella will not cover all three of you and it will lead to much more whining.

Never fear. There will be leftover oreo cupcakes in your fridge and they will be the most delicious cupcakes you have ever had in your entire life. They will soothe your soul.

I hate that the boys were disappointed, but it better not freaking rain again today.

How to make four days feel like an eternity

Step one: pick a beautiful location



Step two: embrace the fun of that location



Step three: find some new and interesting places to explore



Step four: throw in some hot tub action



Step five: bring some people you love




Our beach trip, four years in the making, was everything we hoped and more. The boys never got tired of the beach or the pools.



I had a blast talking to this guy, the perfect husband for me. The poolside cocktails were an added bonus. (The many, many poolside cocktails, YAY!)



Four years ago, I was laying on bed rest, worried about my babies, exhausted, huge as a house, grumpy as hell, and worried about my life with Jon changing. Four years later, my smile says it all. Life is good.



And we are so hitting the beach for an entire week later this summer. Cocktail suggestions welcome.

Happy birthday Alex! Happy birthday Nate!

My sweet little Alex, I am in shock you are now four.



Each year when I sit down to write these letters, I look at last year's letter and I am blown away by how much you have grown. Your personality seemed to explode this year and you love making people laugh. This is the first year you spoke a lot, and it was the greatest joy to finally hear what is going on inside your brain.



I don't know where you get your energy. You still wake up at 100% and you only go to bed when you crash. You run and run and run, looking for adventure, but you always come back seeking comfort in our arms to tell us what you found.



You are still so sensitive. You are prone to emotional outbursts, both positive and negative. This emotional aspect also brings a fierce love for your friends and family. You need hugs and kisses and I will never tire of giving them to you. You have taught me the beauty of wearing my heart on my sleeve and receiving so much back from the universe in return.



This year brought a new level of closeness with Nate. You are truly best friends, and at times, worst enemies. We used to worry he would dominate you but now we see the ways in which you sneakily get the better of him. Some of my favorite times are standing outside your bedroom door, hearing you talk to one another. When I hear your sweet voices, my heart feels as if it will burst from happiness.



My firstborn, Baby A, Alex. During your fourth trip around the sun, we had an amazing life. You and your brother are the perfect pieces to fit into this sweet slice of life we call our family. Watching you grow from a baby into a boy has been the most excellent adventure of my life.



My loud little Nate, I am in shock you are now four.



Each year when I sit down to write these letters, I look at last year's letter and I am blown away by how much you have grown. You have always had a big personality and it only got bigger this year. Life is never boring with you.



I don't know where you get your extroverted energy. You love talking. You love talking to new people, old people, blue people, everyone. Talk talk talk. And the questions are relentless but you never forget an answer. People are drawn to you the way you are drawn to them.



You are still so intense. Life is a constant roller coaster of highs and lows with you. This emotional aspect brings a special energy to every situation. Sometimes these emotions are overwhelming so you need hugs and kisses to calm down and I will never tire of giving them to you. You have taught me the beauty of fully feeling every emotion and embracing the awesomeness of simple things.



This year brought a new level of closeness with Alex. You are truly best friends, at at times, worst enemies. We used to worry you would dominate Alex but now we see the ways you back down to let him be in charge. Some of my favorite times are hearing you playing together in the playroom, hearing you talk to one another. When I hear your sweet voices, my heart feels as if it will burst from happiness.




My secondborn, Baby B, Nate. During your fourth trip around the sun, we had an amazing life. You and your brother are the perfect pieces to fit into this sweet slice of life we call our family. Watching you grow from a baby into a boy has been the most excellent adventure of my life.




My dear precious little boys,

This year was a good year. It was one of the best years of my life. I couldn't find just one picture to represent what this year meant to me.



It was a year filled with laughter, fun, joy, and happiness. So very much happiness.



We had some bumps in the road along the way, but what really mattered in the end was that we were all there together. I couldn't ask for more that everything in this picture right here:



Happy 4th birthday Alex. Happy 4th birthday Nate.

I love you,
Mom

3rd year letter
2nd year letter
1st year letter

Move along, nothing to see here

We're here:



(Picture from last year's beach trip but you get the idea.)

(You all have until Tuesday morning to watch this week's Lost and then I'm blogging about it.)

Packing packing packing

Today we leave for our second family vacation ever. We are going to the beach as the boys picked this as the way they want to celebrate their birthday Sunday.

Let me clarify. We have taken tons and tons of trips as a family, but all of those trips have involved seeing family or friends. We did take a beach trip alone two years ago, but going to the beach with two two year olds was not exactly as relaxing as we had imagined.

I have high hopes we will get some relaxation time in. I'm taking books. (Re-read of Drop City for me for book group.)



I'm taking koozies. Last fall I learned people use beer koozies in an un-ironic manner and since telling people I had no idea they are really used, I have gotten some as gifts. I wonder why I thought they were used ironically?



And you know I'm taking my camera so expect a photo overload post when we return! T-4 hours and counting!

Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.

Or... fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
(Couldn't resist that blog title! TOO GOOD!)

Every year, the month before the boys' birthday, we see some crazy new behavior from Nate and we always struggle. Every year I then check out the Louise Bates Ames book for that age, and every year I am blown away by how accurately the book describes Nate's behavior. I have already raved about this series of books here and here. Now you will hear me rave about the next book, Your Four Year Old: Wild and Wonderful.


Again, these are not parenting books. They are books about development at a particular age. They are dated and sexist, but the research and information in them is solid. I don't read a lot of parenting books yet I give EVERY one of these books five stars for the insights and information contained within. Every time I read these books my attitude shifts from "Can I even be a good parent?!" to "So THAT is why they do that!"

I have now read your 1 year old, your 2 year old, your 3 year old, and your 4 year old. By far, Your Four Year Old is the most positive of the lot, which is indicative of the age. From past books, I gleaned mostly negative quotes like the famous one on 3 year olds fighting with their mothers. From this book, I have gleaned nothing but positive quotes:

* We have found the boy or girl of this age to be joyous, exuberant, energetic, ridiculous, untrammeled - ready for anything.
* The typical four year old loves adventures, loves excursions, loves excitement, loves anything new.
* Four has a lively mind, and new thoughts and ideas or bits of information may please him as much as do new toys.

This book made me super duper excited to have two four year olds in the house.

The downside? Four year olds love to be out of bounds - breaking rules, cursing, lying, exaggerating, name calling. This aspect will certainly be the biggest struggle for me and Jon. We will have to learn to embrace the wonderful and deal with the wild, but with this resource, I feel confident that we are much better prepared.

Could someone please remind me next April to pick up the 5 year old book when Nate is acting crazy again?

Turning it around

Whenever Nate gets really cranky, it's generally due to one of three different causes: sick, overtired, or not enough alone time. We knew he wasn't sick or overtired, so last night I took him out of the house to get alone time with him while Alex spent alone time with Jon.

Nate and I spent two hours out of the house shopping to prepare for our beach trip this weekend. He was such a happy delightful companion, picking out outfits for us to wear on our date, making a shopping list for our trip, and generally having fun getting extra attention. It was a 180 from his attitude the day before.

This is one of my biggest reservations about adding a third child into our family. Nate has always needed extra alone time and with Jon traveling so often, it's hard to work it into our schedules. And our family works out nicely right now as Alex is a homebody like Jon while Nate gets stir crazy with boredom with the same routine like me.

One of the lessons of Mondo was to not ignore the thoughts that keep popping up, even when they seem impossible. When I made my Mondo list, I honored Mondo by keeping "mother a girl" on it. As time passes since the boys' birth, this dream feels closer and closer to being something that I do not want to come to fruition. I no longer look at little girl clothes with hurting ovaries. I no longer see pink dresses and yearn for a tiny one with pigtails. I feel content with our family as it is.

Unfortunately for Jon, this may mean it's time for the big snip snip.

M is for Mother. Also for Manual.

SOMEONE was in an absolutely horrific mood on Mother's Day.



A truly terrible, horrible, grumpy, suckass mood.



Someone was trying their hardest to ruin Mother's Day but I was not about to let that happen, OH HELL NO.

Fortunately someone else truly embraced Mother's Day. Climbed into bed with me and gave me kisses. Told me he kissed me because he loved me. Was uber super cooperative when I needed a model as I decided it was time to switch to ALL MANUAL.

I said good-bye to things like that annoying beep when my camera focuses and changed it up so I can decide where to focus my camera. Every shot on this post is SOOC except for web sharpening and OMG I'm glad I took the leap to full manual.



I told someone else to suck it up, we were going on a boat for Mother's Day, and if they didn't shape up I would be mad at them the rest of the day. I might have mentioned that if they were so rude to me on Mother's Day I didn't have to be nice to them on their birthday Sunday. That one thought about it.



And realized I was right.



And so I got to go on my boat ride at Lake Crabtree.



AND IT WAS AWESOME. (And then I ran four miles home.)



This one learned the lesson of Mother's Day - that your mom is always right. And while our moms love us even through our terrible horrible suckass moods, we BETTER be nice on Mother's Day.



Unfortunately after the boat ride, this one AGAIN learned when he runs too fast and trips, he will do a faceplant and get hurt. Good news - no burns. Bad news - slightly loose tooth. Buy stock in band-aid corporation now! We will help you turn a profit.



This Mother's Day was representative of my life as a mother. Despite some tough times, I try to always focus on the positive. Nothing is ever perfect, not even Mother's Day. Except this one, he was freaking awesome all day.