A lesson from Mondo... and Nate

One of the lessons I've taken from Mondo is to put your dreams out there and maybe the universe will find a way to make it happen. Really I could have learned this from Nate.

I was heading out to Target and asked Jon if he wanted me to pick up anything. Jon said no. Nate was standing there so I asked him if he wanted me to pick him up anything. He said, "Can you get one of those computers with a top that opens like your computer?"

Sure Nate, I'll pick you up a laptop while I'm at Target.

What birthday of mine would be complete without pictures?

I try to keep it real on my blog. Very real.

We went to a sushi/hibachi place for my birthday dinner and the boys were crazy crazy crazy. It was not a night to push our luck and go out for dessert. After dinner I told Jon to make a detour at home so I could grab my camera and some white shirts for the boys because I knew the perfect place to pick up dessert to go and I had always wanted to take pictures at this place around sunset.



Did that picture make you smile a little bit?
No?
How about this one?



No?
Then surely THIS ONE will bring a smile to the coldest of hearts.



It was a pretty sweet birthday present. Finally getting pictures in this place I imagined. Letting the boys go crazy running in the grass.

Nate and I also got some time alone while I was taking pictures.



Does he ever hate getting his picture taken!

And his chin is really jacked from a nasty spill he took before the race Saturday. He completely freaks when you take the band-aid off.

But this place has ground the same color as his eyes and I had this idea for a photo planned out in my head for awhile.




So... to keep it real.

I took the photos at an empty lot in the parking lot of our local grocery store Harris Teeter (or as Jon and I call it, the H Tizzo). Looks like a fancy schmancy park huh? Jon was lookout to make sure the boys didn't run into the parking lot. He was also tick checker afterward. And when people say my camera takes nice pictures, I'd like to show them this picture because nice cameras can take bad pictures.



After taking some pictures, we grabbed some desserts from their bakery and headed home.

Also keeping it real?

I wanted to take pictures this direction so you wouldn't see the power lines but the boys were incredibly uncooperative. Another day, maybe.




Oh and the reason I had some alone time with Nate? Alex was busy pooping at the H Tizzo halfway through the photo shoot.

I could have just posted some pretty pictures for you but that's not really the whole story now is it?

36 wishes for the upcoming year

As of today, I've made 36 trips around the sun. People say 36 is a hard one because you're closer to 40 but I FEEL GREAT. My life is pretty awesome and life just keeps getting better and better the older I get.

Since it's my birthday and you can't be mean to me, I am going to open myself up and share 36 items from my Mondo Beyondo list. Some of these things scare me to share, so be gentle. If the universe (or you!) could help me figure out how to accomplish these 36 things, then I could replace them with 37 even more Mondo-er dreams next year.

So leave me a comment to wish me happy birthday or let me know how you're going to help me finish off this list or let me know which ones you think are difficult for me to share with you.

1. Get back in a kayak. (I've been too scared since wrecking and almost drowning while kayaking in San Diego over 10 years ago.)

2. Host a chocolate tasting.

3. Learn to walk in heels.

4. Skip stones with Nate and Alex.

5. See where my camera takes me, physically, emotionally.

6. Live in Italy for a summer.

7. Spend at least an hour outside every day.

8. Do so much good in the world that my kids are inspired every day.

9. Create a life without a morning scramble.

10. Own a dog and watch my boys giggle when it licks their face.

11. Fill my home with beautiful objects.

12. See Aurora Borealis.

13. Karate chop a board in half with my hand.

14. Live in a beach house.

15. No skin cancer, please. Or other cancer. Or illnesses. Me or my loved ones.

16. Spend as much time barefoot as possible.

17. Wear my wedding dress on my anniversary.

18. Continue to create my tribe of women.

19. Complete a triathalon.

20. Foster many children who do not have a home.

21. Have time and ability to see my loved ones more frequently.

22. Ride in a hot air balloon.

23. Mother a girl.

24. Have boudoir photos taken to become more comfortable in my own skin. (This might be on Jon's birthday wish list too.)

25. Take the boys to see a shuttle launch.

26. Have a job that I am passionate about.

27. Kill Warrior Dash.

28. Get the neverending to-do list done.

29. Read every book on my to-read list.

30. Get lots of quality beach time.

31. Learn to sail.

32. Wear make up. I'm finally at the age where this might be necessary.

33. Write a book.

34. Have a fully funded education account for the kids.

35. Make our pantry healthier, except for the chocolate.

36. Spend every day waking up happily next to my best friend and still never run out of things to talk about with him.

And one to grow one - get in front of the camera more, preferably not when I'm covered in sweat after running for two hours.




(Our official finish time of the half was 2:10:31, roughly 10:02 per mile.)

35

Nate and Alex asked why Jon wasn't having a birthday party. He and I agree this party of four is one of the best birthday parties ever.

I can't even make a joke about how we almost set off the fire alarm with this many candles because tomorrow I have to light an extra one for me.



Happy 35th birthday sweetie!

13.1 miles, part two

In continuing with the theme of making 2010 the best year ever, this morning I finished my second half marathon of the year. If I thought we kicked butt at the Phoenix half, Jodi and I kicked even MORE butt at Raleigh Rocks, finishing under 2:11 (exact time TBD). It was cold (under 40), windy, and hilly but we still rocked it.



But don't forget! I wasn't the only one racing today. Today was Nate and Alex's first race. When I showed the boys their race numbers, they asked why Jon wasn't running also. Um, we need someone to be our cheerleader and pack mule!

(the racers, cold and tired)



After grabbing some much needed warm food, the boys got ready for their race. There is So Much Proud Mama behind this photo, I can't even tell you.



The plan had been for me and Jon to cheer from the sidelines, but Alex was too afraid to run by himself. He happily lined up when I held his hand. And Erin, I am counting that extra running distance in our race!



And here it is, the best, most joyous 100m I've run this year (even with four layers on and completely frozen legs):



Off to make some cupcakes. We have so much very to celebrate in our home!

You're going to be so sick of me by March 31

This was a very emotional week. I visited my friend's baby in the NICU. It is the same NICU where Nate and Alex stayed and the first time I had been back. Ah, the smells, the sounds, the sights. It was tough for me (fellow NICU mamas know what I mean) but I was so very happy to see my friend's daughter doing well. This week also brought massive layoffs to my company. I am still employed but my stress = high.

Basically I need to mainline red wine and chocolate cupcakes.

I almost forgot that:

* Tomorrow I'm running another half marathon (2010 = best year ever)
* Tomorrow Nate and Alex will be participating in their first race, a 100m dash. I will probably sob with pride.
* Sunday Jon turns the big 3-5
* Monday I turn the big 3-6

Which means I'll burn enough calories to justify the cupcakes and have enough to celebrate to drink the wine. SCORE!

So there will be many posts the next few days.

This one better not push me past the edge.

The many faces of Alex

I have been in a little parenting funk. When they say "3 Year Old: Friend or Enemy" they mean it. Nate has been a terrible enemy the last couple of weeks. I asked him why he keeps fighting with me and he said he loves fighting with me and he loves when it makes me crazy.

Through it all, Alex has been such a dear sweet friend. It is the best part of twins, this constant yin and yang. Alex wants more hugs, more kisses, and he will spontaneously bust out with declarations of love and adoration. I can't seem to capture him well on film. My biggest problem is his movement. The.kid.does.not.sit.still. Being an engineer, I found a solution - can't move when laying down:



Have I mentioned his expressive face and puppy dog eyes? I never get tired of all his crazy faces. (I still love my camera and lens so much I want to make out with them every time I download pictures.)



The reason Alex's affection is so sweet is that he is ALL BOY. Loves playing sports. Loves playing rough. Talks endlessly about superheroes (despite being too scared to watch any superhero shows). Wants to be the bad guy and talk in a deep voice. Ruins clothes by sliding on his knees. Does dirty disgusting BOY things.



VERY dirty disgusting boy things. I didn't set this up, he did what you think he did.



I feel bad letting Nate get to me so I needed to take these pictures and write this post to remind myself that phases come and go. May as well make the best of them all. Every moment spent focusing on the bad is one less moment to focus on the good. And at my house, there is so very much Good.



What can I say? I love him, nose picking and all. He has my heart and he always will.

Time to stop being politically correct and time to start being honest

I grew up in economically integrated schools.

During my entire public school education in Florida, we had kids bused from poor areas into my schools. How did this negatively impact me and my classmates? Diddly squat. We were middle or upper class kids who ALREADY HAD advantages in life and would CONTINUE to have advantages in life. Busing hurt my education so much (italics = sarcasm) that I was able to attend a top ten college and receive numerous scholarships and awards. In fact I was a National Science Scholar. This program picked the two top science students from each state and awarded them a $5000/year scholarship (a lot of money in 1992!).

It's not like I even came out of the best high school in my county. I didn't. I just took advantage of every opportunity I could out of the public education system.

But how did busing impact the poor kids? It gave them IMMEASURABLE opportunities. I was personally friends with many kids who got bused in. I know their stories. I know how their lives changed. I can show your their facebook profiles so you can see the outcomes for yourselves. I can also show the facebook profiles of my non-bused friends so you can see it did not negatively impact us.

There is a reason why I am passionate about the Wake County school board decision to end economic integration. I have seen this process work. I am a result of that system. I have also seen the opposite outcome in Chicago, where hypersegregation has destroyed the city's public school system. And we can easily look west to Charlotte to see what a similar decision has done to their public schools.

Being an optimist, I will hope the school board really does try to implement a plan that encourages diversity and improves schools for everyone. And when Nate and Alex enter kindergarten next year, I will be supportive in trying to create an atmosphere where everyone can receive a great public education. But you better believe that if it does negatively impact our schools, I will be on the front lines to help change it.

PS. I want to wet my pants when I think about my babies in real school next fall. When did they grow up, wah wah wah.

This will teach me to procrastinate

On Saturday I hosted another shower for another friend Jen. Although it wasn't really hosting because we just went to lunch and oohed and aahed over girly clothes.

(I love me some pictures of people smiling and laughing)



On Sunday I put "download baby shower pictures" on my to-do list but it never got to-done. I had planned on writing about it yesterday but didn't have the pictures to go with the post. I've been lax on getting pictures to Jen before so I really wanted to show her I was going to Do A Good Job Turning Around Pictures Of The New Baby.

On Monday morning I was at my desk before work, downloading pictures and editing them when my phone rang. Jen had the baby! 6 weeks early but healthy and good size!



I'm really glad we all got a chance to talk as long as we wanted on Saturday because who knew Jen had just one day left?! Jen is already a great mom and I know she is going to make this whole two-kid thing look easy with her undying patience and calmness. She is yet another woman in my "tribe" here that I am so very proud to call a friend.



(I got my dress at Pin Up Girl Clothing through a recommendation from Bridget. LOVE IT. Expect to see it in many many pictures this summer as it is comfortable and cute. Curvy girls, check them out - super comfortable dresses just for us.)

One of those weeks

Jon was home all five days last week so you would think we would have an extra productive week. Wrong! After so many months of weeks apart, we both needed the mental time to just veg and be together. We still got a lot accomplished but we also took the opportunity to catch up on tivo, talk to each other, and enjoy many cocktails sitting on the deck.

This is also the first year the spring time change negatively affected the boys. Last week was filled with grumpy mornings and lack of interest in sleeping at night. We also moved the boys together again so Jon and I could have our own offices. That led to some late night antics.

I would call last week a regrouping week. A week to prepare for spring and summer.

And ALL THAT TIME spent discussing "inside voice" and "outside voice" has come to fruition. With the warmer weather, we have learned how loud the outside of our house is going to be this year. Sorry, neighbors.

The definition of karma

When we were looking at houses 4.5 years ago, there were two houses in our neighborhood for sale. The house we did not buy was slightly larger with more upgrades. The entire time we were checking out the house, there were two boys playing in the backyard of the house next door. The noise was deafening as they screamed and yelled and chased each other. We opted to get the smaller house next to quieter neighbors.

We have been getting a lot of outside time this week with the gorgeous weather. Last night the boys had some legendary fights in the backyard with tons of screaming and shouting. At one point, I carried Nate inside the house to time out while he screamed, "LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

That little episode happened right as some people were checking out the deck and backyard of the house next door that is for sale.

At least Alex didn't make too much noise. Until Jon hit him in the nose with a frisbee.

It still didn't ruin my enjoyment of drinking a beer on the patio while wearing flip flops.

It feels really weird to say this

We joined a church last week.
(I am trying to refrain from jokes that everyone can stop praying for my soul.)

I mentioned on my other blog that we started checking out the local Unitarian church in December. I liked it, Jon liked it, and the kids liked it. Most importantly, the core beliefs of the Unitarians are also our core beliefs, and I feel good raising kids with those beliefs, specifically every person is worthy, acceptance of one another, a free search for personal truth, and respect for one another and the world. Last week we signed our names in the book.

I will continue to crack jokes about my hippie church because that is my nature but for the first time in my life, I feel I have found a spiritual community that feels like home.

And fortunately, Sunday service isn't until 11AM so we still get to sleep in and enjoy lazy Sunday mornings.

Sleeping changes

The acquisition of Jon's company is complete and he officially starts working for Big Blue on April 1. He will be working from home full-time and we still don't know how much his travel will increase or decrease. We've decided that sharing the bonus room over our one-car garage as a joint office is not maintainable for the long haul so we have to make some changes. (For those that don't know, I also telecommute full time.)

We have moved Nate back in with Alex. We're hoping to use the guest room as a combination guest room and office for Jon. We're nervous about this as previous attempts to move them back together have been disastrous. Last night was Day One and there was no fighting, but they played until 10:30 when I went in and patted their backs until they quieted down. The other issue is on day care days, they nap but they do not need a nap, so they are genuinely not tired until 9PM or later.

Does anyone have any tips for getting kids this young to successfully share a room? We're considering leaving a small light on to let them play and going in to turn it off to signal it is quiet time. Tips and encouragement are very welcome, particularly encouragement!

Expect a lot of exclamation points and shouting in this post

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY, we held a three day potty boot camp for Nate. It was easy. We asked if he wanted to wear underwear, he said yes, had one accident and pee trained himself. We had read that poop training can take a few months longer, so we were prepared. Nate proceeded to hold it until his nighttime pull up for a couple of months. We took away his nighttime pullup right around the time to pool opened, forcing a poop standoff.

Nate beat us. He waited every time until he was in a wet swim diaper. Joy oh joy. Those times at the pool were some of the worst. Between Nate and Alex, I lost count of the number of wet poopy swim diapers we changed last summer. Someone pooped at every swim lesson (not me or Jon). I wrote a post on HDYDI about that lovely experience. When the pool closed for the summer, we tanked Nate up with fiber-rich foods and laxatives and within a week with no access to pullups, he was poop trained.

During that time, we tried many, many, MANY booty camps with Alex. All of them were disasters. One MORNING he had 12 accidents throughout the house. How does someone go to the bathroom 12 times in 3 hours?

Alex finally got motivated when they transitioned to the 3s room. They couldn't move until they were potty trained. We moved Nate up without Alex since Nate was trained. We explained to Alex he couldn't go to that room until he was trained and within a day, he was excited about potty training. He was COMPLETELY trained in a week and I wrote that we were done with diapers forever. HA HA HA!!!!

We went on vacation and Alex had a poop regression. After that he had accidents at home. He had accidents at school. After enough negative attention at school, he started holding it until his nighttime pullup. We went with the poop standoff plan, feeding him laxatives and fiber-rich foods and it did not work. We tried positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, ignoring the problem, EVERYTHING. In a fit of desperation, I even put him to bed with no pullup multiple nights and let him pee on himself all night. All he did was hold it even longer.

(By the way, if you ever want more assvice than will fill the Library of Congress, tell someone you're having issues with your 3 year old not being potty trained. Everyone is an expert on potty training.)

One by one kids a YEAR YOUNGER than Alex were being trained. Every blog post on "we're trained!" was like a knife to the gut.

A week ago, one of their friends moved to the 4s room. We told Alex he could not go to the 4s room until he started pooping on the potty ALL THE TIME. The next day, he pooped on the potty for the first time in months. We've now had a week of successes and we reinforce OVER AND OVER he can not poop in his pullup anymore (he does not have overnight bladder control). It's working.

It is safe for me to say, one year later, that WE ARE FINALLY 100% POTTY TRAINED. One year later. We have been doing some kind of potty training crap for an entire year. A YEAR PEOPLES.

And as I said on twitter last night, three day potty training MY ASS.

Good news, bad news

Bad news:
Jon got stranded overnight in Detroit so he didn't make it home until Saturday afternoon.

(Insanely) good news:
No travel this week!!! (!!!)

Good news:
Jon took the boys to get haircuts on Saturday while I shopped for summer clothes.

Bad news:
Alex's haircut... YIKES!



Good news:
At least it will grow back quickly?

Bad news:
I tried the jelly belly energy beans during a long run yesterday and they caused extreme stomach pain rather than increased energy.

Good news:
I ran with Jodi and we did 13.1 miles in 2:12 (10:06 minutes per mile), taking 6 minutes off my Phoenix race time! Without stomach pain and with the excitement of race day, I'm hoping to finish under 2:10.

Bad news:
Turns out I did have some weird allergy to the changing of the seasons. Nasal congestion for three days with no other symptoms.

Good news:
CHANGING OF THE SEASONS MEANS SPRING! (here's the first flower to come up in our yard)





Bad news:
Nate's level of uncooperativeness with photos is at an all-time high. He yells "No Pictures!" when I get out the camera.

Good news:
I'm getting better at stealthily taking pictures of uncooperative subjects!



(Insanely) good news:
I am absolutely smitten with my new lens (50mm 1.2). To feel worthy of it, I'm shooting exclusively in RAW, editing mostly in RAW, and have switched to mostly manual.

10 years ago, a nerd story, the end

Part one here and part two here.

Ten years ago today, Jon Case walked into my office to meet me. Finally I would meet the "stunningly brilliant, capable, kind" Jon.

My first thought was that he was SO TALL (he's 6'4"). He was dressed in all black with a distressed leather jacket and stylish shoes. He talked with a calm, confident voice and I was unnerved because he was handsome.

He introduced himself and asked some questions about the project. Naturally I did the only logical thing possible. I asserted my authority. The very first thing I said to my future husband was, "Hi Jon. Did you check your email? I've already covered that. Check your email then come back to talk to me. I am very busy."

[Afterward hearing Jon's side of the story, he had heard nothing but amazing things about me and was very excited to work with me. He walked in to find this very cute blond in a skirt with great (running) legs and he was nervous. Then I smacked him down a couple of rungs.]

As I mentioned before, we worked 60-80 hours together, side by side. We ate dinner at the office together. We went to the gym together, played racquetball together, shared taxis home, went out on weekends, and talked on the phone for hours. Within a couple of weeks, we were friends. Within a couple of months, we were best friends. There was one moment that summer we working on a Saturday, listening to Frank Sinatra, and talking about whether scientology was a cult. He said something about religion and I thought I couldn't imagine the rest of my life without this guy in it.

Jon was clear very early on that he was in love with me. It took me a long time to risk losing the best friend I'd ever had to move past the friend stage. After enough people, including my grandparents!, asked if we were dating, I finally realized I might miss out on the best thing to ever happen to me.

Looking back through pictures of 2000, Jon is featured in all of them. He's eating ice cream checking out my ant farm. He's there in my Ikea-filled Wrigleyville apartment. He's there buying me a Kate Spade purse for Christmas. He filled my 2000 album, filled my 2000 life.

Ten years ago today, I had no idea my life would change in one simple moment when I met Jon.

And these have been the very best ten years of my life.

A sign that Jon has been traveling too much

Thursday morning I hit the Starbucks drive-through as a single parenting morning treat.

I live large like that!

We were rolling with our windows down, enjoying the springtime air. After I ordered my caramel macchiato (and silently mourned the inability to order the seasonal caramel brulee latte), the barista asked if I wanted anything else.

Nate yelled out his window, "I'd like a grande mocha!"

(I also had time to put together this dancing montage for you all the enjoy!)

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

My week so far

Things I Did Not Want To Do

* Plunge the mysteriously clogged downstairs toilet
* Wash day care sheets that mysteriously got covered in paint
* Clean up a sharted-in potty

Things I Pretended Not To See

* Alex sharting into the little potty
* Leftover taco casserole in the fridge that was made a long time ago in a kitchen far far away
* The boys peeing into the same toilet and aiming their pee at each other's pee streams

Things I Wish I Had Not Heard

* Nate and Alex calling bedtime socks "freaking socks" after I told Alex to put on his freaking socks for the 30th time
* Alex sharting into the little potty
* The sound of a metal shovel in Alex's hand connecting with Nate's head
* Nate asking me how the baby got inside Miss Heather's belly

Things I Wish I Had Not Said

* Put on your freaking socks, to Alex
* Alex hit Nate in the head with a shovel, to many horrified faces
* The dad has some special stuff that mixes with special stuff from the mom and it makes a baby, to two 3 year old boys who are going to ask more about this soon

New Things For Me This Week

* Writing about sharting
* Allergies? A cold? Not sure but there is definitely a lot of stuff coming out of my nose
* Newfound zen with Jon out of town all week. My plan to find zen again in the future? Same plan as this month. Hit rock bottom, find zen.
* Mondo Beyondo
* Writing lots of deep words instead of just posting pictures of my boys

This is going to be a hard post to write without crying

My grandma Pat loved to tell stories. One of her favorite stories to share with me was how we used to play tea party in the hull of my grandpa's sailboat when I was 3 (he built a 41 ft sailboat from scratch in the backyard). I've lost count of the number of times she told me that story. The last time I saw her alive, I was very sick with morning sickness and she told me that story again. She passed away before the boys were born.


Growing up I spent summers, afternoons, and weekends at my grandparents' and I often wondered why this one story stood out as her favorite story to share with me. We had years of time together to build other stories.

Spring weather has come to Raleigh and last night we had our first dinner picnic in the treehouse. The boys loved it. No, not just loved it, it was one of the favorite things they've ever done. They were so excited, talking a mile a minute, laughing, peeking out the windows, asking a million questions, making up games and stories. At bedtime they each asked if we could eat dinner in the treehouse every night. There is something magical and precious about 3 year olds. They are so innocent yet understand so much. They want to be independent yet still want to be your best friend.

I wanted to call grandma Pat and tell her I finally understand, I finally get why those times under the boat were so special to her. Last night was my tea party under the boat.

10 years ago, a nerd story, part two

Part one here.

10 years ago today, I was sitting in my Chicago corporate apartment. I can't describe it any other way than when I thought about moving to Chicago, it felt right to me. Despite the fact I hate cold weather. Despite the fact that I knew NO ONE. Within days of flying back to San Francisco, I called Jim to let him know I was on board.

But there was still the issue of this Jon Case character.

Through a coincidence, the week I was in Chicago, Jon was featured in their office interview series. His picture was posted on the fridge along with ten questions about him. This little questionnaire was my first impression of the man I would eventually marry. I read into every little detail, trying to decipher as much about him as possible.

Laura: "Ugh. He's wearing a tie. What 25 year old wears a tie to a software office? But dang he looks good dressed up." (As I would later find out, the picture was taken at a Christmas party.)

Laura: "Hometown Fargo ND?!?! That's definitely on the list of Places I Will Never Ever Visit in a Hundred Million Years." (HA I would eat those words!)

Laura: "College in Minnesota? Yet another place I will never ever visit. Who is this guy?"

But then.... the other questions got under my skin.

Laura: "If he could be anywhere, it would be on a beach with a cold drink. That's where I would want to be!"

Laura: "Of all the things in the world to be happy about, he's most happy about his family? Such an atypical answer for a 25 year old. And kinda hot in a good guy way."

I decided to make some calls to co-workers I knew who had worked with him. Every person I called said things like:
* Stunningly brilliant
* Incredibly nice
* One of the best co-workers I've ever had
* Smart, nice, brilliant, nicest guy you will ever meet, intelligent, nice... you get the picture.

Ten years ago, I sat in my corporate apartment thinking about how I would be working with this Jon Case guy. In the history of the company, I was only the second female guru and typically gurus were arrogant, loud, technically brilliant, amazing guys. From what I'd heard of Jon, I needed to make it clear from the beginning that I was in charge and I kicked butt and he would be lucky to work with me.

The project would start on Monday March 13, 2000. Jon would be a day late and would miss all the introductions, but the plan was he would walk into my office the morning of March 14 and I would be ready to put him in his place.

To be continued...

Finding friends who "get" you

Having moved to San Francisco, Chicago, and now Raleigh, I've found one of the hardest parts of moving is finding a good circle of friends. Becoming part of a community takes time and energy. Working from home, having twins, and having a traveling husband, I realized long ago I need to put a significant amount of energy into creating and maintaining a circle of friends.

I've been so fortunate to have Heather in my life here. No matter how bad things are, Heather is the one you can call and she will make an off-color joke and give you a pep talk. She is a passionate friend, mother, teacher, and wife. She will help you cut in line at the Obama inauguration to make sure you get in. She will make sure you get second row seats at Ira Glass. She always has tons to give to everyone else.

And that is why I screamed the F bomb at my child, because making this tacky baby belly cake was an Important Thing I wanted to do to tell Heather that I appreciate her in my life:



(I also needed supplies to finish this diaper cake, complete with belly tattoos, baby tattoos, and Wash Away Your Sins hand wipes):



I am thoroughly excited for Heather to finally meet baby V2.0. I have my own selfish interests in that I love holding newborns (and then giving them back when they fuss!) and I can't wait to photograph the baby. But mostly, I am excited because I know how hard the journey has been and finally getting to hold her second baby in her arms will be one of the sweetest moments of her life.



Thank you so much for being my friend Heather. I can't wait to welcome you to the two-kid club.

You guys are effing awesome

Whenever I get the crazy look when I tell people I keep a mommy blog, I'm going to tell people about yesterday's post when I try to convince them how awesome blogging is. Thank you all, I can't tell you how much it means to me that I am not alone in losing my shizz with my kids.

Since Jon and I made a joint decision that he would keep a traveling job, I sometimes feel I can't complain about the hardships. Reading Desi's reply last night, it hit me that Jon has been traveling since the boys were 3 months old. 3.5 years of week in week out holding down the fort on my own a substantial amount of time while also working and trying to have a life of my own. It's a wonder I haven't lost my shizz in a more spectacular manner.

Through this crazy week of ups and downs, Alex has been a sweetie pie. In all my complaints about the terribleness of 3.75, it seems unfair to not mention the love and cuddly-ness oozing out of this one:




The lens I love so much? After much discussion and deliberation, it is in a UPS truck being delivered to my house today.

Part two of the nerd love story will be posted this weekend.

Another fine single parenting moment

This week is a little insanely hectic for me. Jon's gone three nights, I have a new book group, I've got a 13 mile training run for a half marathon in three weeks, our neighborhood is having a fake snow event, we're super excited about church Sunday as the topic is diversity in schools (a HOT topic in Raleigh right now, more polarizing than the presidential election), and I'm hosting a baby shower.

Last night I needed to run some errands with the boys that CAN NOT wait. I packed them a dinner for the car and headed off to Michael's. It was a complete fiasco. Nate was a terror. If I wasn't so angry, I would have been mortally embarrassed. The final straw came when he cleared an entire display of cupcake liners then picked up a soccer ball cake pan and drop kicked it down the aisle. I totally expect this kind of stuff from toddlers but they are almost 4. They KNOW better.

I cleaned up the aisle, then abandoned the cart with all my stuff and marched the boys out to the car. Oh I yelled at Nate. He kept back talking me and I said, "Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. You are part of this family. This is what the family needs to do right now. You are going shopping and you are going to behave or I am going to strap you into the cart like a baby and we won't talk to you the whole time."

He just kept arguing. He just kept saying "But but but mommy!"

I may or may not have dropped the F-bomb when talking loudly to him.

Fine. I yelled "Too Effing bad Nate!" right at him when he was complaining to me.

The kids have never seen me this angry. And they have never heard me curse at them. They were taken aback but suddenly quiet and cooperative. I told them the new plan, which was to go to Target where Nate would ride in the cart like a baby. Then we would go back to Michael's and get my stuff. We went to Target and got everything we needed. While we were checking out, Nate quietly asked if I was still angry. I told him I wasn't angry anymore but we were heading back to Michael's and getting our stuff and he better behave. He said he was going to be so good, he was so excited to go to Michael's and be a good boy.

We went back to Michael's, caught the employee just starting to reshelve my stuff, and headed straight to check out. We were in there for five minutes total, yet somehow Nate managed to grab a bunch of fake flowers and repeatedly hit Alex in the face with them and clear an entire display of pens at checkout.

This time I didn't yell or drop the F bomb. I just marched them out to the car and told them I was not talking to them. At home, I put them both to bed immediately (apologized to Alex for being so grumpy and said it made mommy very angry when Nate was bad), drank a big glass of wine, and listened to This American Life while cleaning up the kitchen.

When Jon got home late last night, I vented the entire story to him and he said, "I'm so glad that when the f-bomb finally comes out of Nate's mouth, you get to take responsibility for that one instead of me." I had to laugh at that.

And THIS is why everything is easier when Jon is home.

I know I'm opening myself up to judgy comments on this post. I truly do not care. I am by no means a perfect parent but I know I am a good mother. And DUDE this is a hard phase with Nate. There's a reason that book is called Your 3 Year Old: Friend or ENEMY. Will I drop the F bomb again with my 3 year olds? Hopefully not. But I know that if any of you do it, I will be there to say, "Hey we can't all be perfect all the time."

Nurtureshock needs some Natureshock

I've finally been reading Nurtureshock and I would highly recommend this book to every parent. It looks at current research to debunk some of the common parenting misconceptions. The book is divided into nine chapters, each covering a different research topic. Some of the information has blown me away, such as the chapter that explains why watching educational tv makes kids meaner than if they watch violent tv shows.

Yes, you read that last sentence correctly.

The biggest lesson I take from the book is from the chapter on siblings. It is no secret that Nate and Alex do their fair share of fighting. The book explains it is possible to teach siblings to get along better. With Jon out of town, I tried this with the boys last night. While I made dinner, I set them up with a game and asked them to play it together and not fight. It worked. It was CRAZY.

The only chapter I do not agree with is the chapter on language development. They argue language development is a nurture thing, and parents can do more to improve language skills. To me, they completely ignored the nature component of language development. Having twins both raised in the same environment in the same manner and seeing them develop spoken language at such a vastly different rates, I think this research ignores the child's personality type. Alex = introvert, Nate = extrovert and nowhere is this personality trait addressed in the book. While Alex and Nate have always had the same language comprehension level, Alex simply doesn't talk as much and never has.

That said, I give this book 5 stars and would encourage every parent to read this book. Simply amazing information!

The most amazing post ever of all time

Dear Diary,

Last night we went out to eat as a family at a sit-down restaurant. The boys used inside voices the entire time. They were extremely polite and used table manners. They ate a lot of food and delightfully engaged in the patrons near us. They were so good that Jon and I got to take our time eating and enjoyed our meal. It was one of the best meals we've had outside the home in a long, long time.

This is so remarkable for two 3.75 year old boys that we are still in a little bit of shock this morning.

What I did with my weekend, by LauraC

A friend lent me his super deluxe camera lens (17-55 2.8) and I reserved a deluxe camera lens (50 1.4) to rent for comparison. When I got to the camera shop, they only had the 50 1.2, which is much MUCH pricier. I decided to go ahead and rent it to see how great it could possibly be. Big mistake because the lens is amazing and I fell in love with it.

All of these shots are straight out of the camera shots, no photo editing done except to reduce size for display on the web.

Oh my goodness, the sharpness and the color.



Seriously amazing depth of field.



Even with uncooperative subjects, every shot looked amazing right out of the camera.



I took an equal number of shots of Nate and Alex, but Alex is just too wiggly for playing around with apertures this low. I have a large number of out of focus shots of Alex. When he finally does sit still, he only wants to do crazy faces and poses. He thought this tough guy pose was funny but I found it endearing.



Nate is also more coachable and bribeable. I tell him to look in my direction and he'll do it when there is chocolate in involved. Alex often misinterprets my requests. Here I told him to open his eyes wide and instead he innocently struck this pose. No offense intended peoples.



To be fair, I took a lot of shots with the 17-55 for comparison. They were great but I think my heart is with the 1.2. I did get one shot I ADORED from the 17-55 and wanted to preserve it here for my blog. I was skeptical when Nate chose this hat as his primary winter hat but clearly the kid was meant to wear blue.



Now I go into reflection mode on what lens I want to buy. The one thing I did learn this weekend was to never let the boys get into photography because it is one seriously expensive hobby.