It will hit your twin brother in the face
It will cause his nose to gush blood like a fountain
He will run screaming out of the shower, spraying blood all over the walls and bedroom carpet
You will hear the screaming and see the blood and start screaming yourself
Your mom will rush in, get the double screaming stopped, get the bleeding stopped, and apply TLC to your brother
(your mom rocks, btw)
The puffy nose will make your mom look twice. Three times. Four times.
It will cause her to call the neighbors.
The neighbors will come over, check out the nose, and declare it looks broken to them too.
The maybe-broken nose will cause your mom to call the doctor
The triage office will call back. They will record the call. Because they want to know who hit the little kid in the face.
(your mom is having a spectacular run, what with the barely noticed infected finger on you!)
The nurse will give your mom some tests to run, which include pressing on your brother's nose as hard as possible. You didn't break your brother's nose. This time.
If you throw a cup in the shower when your dad is not at home and your mom needs a vacay like no one's business and it hits your brother in the face and might have broken his nose, you will be in big BIG trouble and your mom will add "No cups in the shower" to the insanely long list of incredibly stupid rules in your house because it is filled with crazies!
And when you go to bed, your mom will laugh because if she didn't laugh she might REALLY LOSE HER SHIZZ RIGHT NOW.
(See? I could have made this story shorter with this!)
(Really, I do have a sense of humor about the last week.)
19 comments:
Oh, Laura, I am so sorry to hear about this! Vacation is coming soon...hang in there and enjoy it!
Hilarious! Keep that sense of humor :-)
(and glad the nose is not broken!)
Oh god. This is not good. Lets hear it for sketches of happy, healthy boys instead of possible broken noses and explosive poop sketches. I can hear your exhaustion oozing through. Hang on. You will regroup soon! (Thank god for no broken noses!)
So glad the nose was not broken! I am not sure if I could look at the situation and find humor in it. I probably would have lost it.
Is there no end? I did laugh at your post, but man, what a run you are having. I can't wait to see your drawing of a beach with sunshine and laughter. You have earned it!!!
Sorry you are having such a run of back luck but so glad you can keep your sense of humor and share it with us.
I think the fact that you stayed calm is awesome. If that had happened in my house there would have been three screaming and crying people and no one to think rationally and handle the clean up/calm down.
Sorry though.
Conversation from 15 years from now.
N: "Hey, remember the day you threw the cup at my nose? And there was all that blood and we were both screaming? And dad was away so mom had to deal with it?"
A: "Yeah, and mom had to do all kinds of stuff to you and we couldn't use cups in the shower anymore."
N: "That was funny, wasn't it?"
A: "Sure was."
I saw a sign outside a wine story the other day that read, "Wine a little, it will make you feel better." Sounds like good advice right about now.
You are having quite a week there!
Keep laughing though. Finding the funny in it helps it pass. Or laughing cuz you don't want to cry works too.
I know I said it on Twitter, but big hugs from me. =(
Good god! Can you get the kind of vacay where you go by yourself?!
OMG--the drawings are priceless. Hang in there!
You definitely need a long break! Do they always wait until you or Jon are single parenting to do this? Those boys need to cut Mom some slack...
That list of crazy rules should be a running list on the side bar of your blog...that would be a good list to whip out just as they are having their first children!
Wow, sounds like you are having a great week! Hope it gets better :-)
Omg, funny. But, not funny.
Oh dear. I think I may need to get on a plane to give you a hug. And a break.
Oh, my! My kids are getting more physical with each other and I see this day happening to us. And I hope to remember your post and handle it as well. Glad your mom was there.
LOL. Laura, I really do enjoy your blog. We had something very similar to that happen in our house, Autumn threw the rinse cup at Nathan and we really thought his nose was broken. Sigh. Reading your version made me giggle, just because... you have to laugh, or it will drive you crazy! lol!
Thank you Laura for making all of these horrible stories so damn funny that I actually LOL, and I don't mean I just typed LOL to show it is funny, but I really LOL at your stories...
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