Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.

Or... fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
(Couldn't resist that blog title! TOO GOOD!)

Every year, the month before the boys' birthday, we see some crazy new behavior from Nate and we always struggle. Every year I then check out the Louise Bates Ames book for that age, and every year I am blown away by how accurately the book describes Nate's behavior. I have already raved about this series of books here and here. Now you will hear me rave about the next book, Your Four Year Old: Wild and Wonderful.


Again, these are not parenting books. They are books about development at a particular age. They are dated and sexist, but the research and information in them is solid. I don't read a lot of parenting books yet I give EVERY one of these books five stars for the insights and information contained within. Every time I read these books my attitude shifts from "Can I even be a good parent?!" to "So THAT is why they do that!"

I have now read your 1 year old, your 2 year old, your 3 year old, and your 4 year old. By far, Your Four Year Old is the most positive of the lot, which is indicative of the age. From past books, I gleaned mostly negative quotes like the famous one on 3 year olds fighting with their mothers. From this book, I have gleaned nothing but positive quotes:

* We have found the boy or girl of this age to be joyous, exuberant, energetic, ridiculous, untrammeled - ready for anything.
* The typical four year old loves adventures, loves excursions, loves excitement, loves anything new.
* Four has a lively mind, and new thoughts and ideas or bits of information may please him as much as do new toys.

This book made me super duper excited to have two four year olds in the house.

The downside? Four year olds love to be out of bounds - breaking rules, cursing, lying, exaggerating, name calling. This aspect will certainly be the biggest struggle for me and Jon. We will have to learn to embrace the wonderful and deal with the wild, but with this resource, I feel confident that we are much better prepared.

Could someone please remind me next April to pick up the 5 year old book when Nate is acting crazy again?

4 comments:

Beth said...

We have already caught glimpses of these lines:

*The typical four year old loves adventures, loves excursions, loves excitement, loves anything new.
* Four has a lively mind, and new thoughts and ideas or bits of information may please him as much as do new toys.

And I love it! The deep thoughts of a four year old just blow me away! I think you've nailed it though. Learning to embrace all that is good, while handling the meanness factor is going to be the challenge. Luckily for us, William has never been on the extremes. Now Seth on the other hand . . .

HeatherV said...

YAY! It's on my list but it sounds like I need to read it now, that is if I can put Drop City down

I have to echo the love of these books and am going to reread them with Ian. Have recomended them countless times, inc the fab circa 1978 pics!

Glad to hear that the trying threes may almost be behind us as soon as we conquor sibling issues.

Heidi O said...

I wish that I could get that for he kindle. I think I might see if they have it at the library. I am curious to read about the 6 yr old.

Shari said...

It's great that you found these resources. I think I'll look for the 7-year-old version since that's our next stop.