I was brave enough to go to the stuttering website. And it is actually a great resource. It even has a handy-dandy checklist of 7 things you can do to help children who stutter.
As I was going through the list, I was like YEP I fail at that. YEP, also fail at that.
Talk to your child slowly? Fail. I always talk fast.
Reduce the number of questions you ask your child? Fail. I thought I was supposed to be asking questions!
I was starting to feel really bad, like maybe I'm contributing to the problem. Or maybe I caused the problem. I mean, what the hell do I know about raising kids? Then I hit point #5.
"Help all members of the family learn to take turns talking and listening."
IT'S ALL NATE'S FAULT!
(You know I'm kidding, right?)
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
3 years stats, aka boo hoo shorties, speech, and stuttering
Jon's out of town so I got the pleasure of taking the boys solo to their 3 year checkup. This was, by far, their easiest checkup. Don't get me wrong, every time I tried to talk to the doctor, they did their best to get my attention. Even the doctor laughed at their antics. But the stress was minor compared to other checkups.
At their first checkup, we each held a screaming 2 week old baby while frantically mixing bottles, changing diapers, trying to listen to the doctor, and nearly hyperventilating from the realization that there was no turning back.
We then had a series of stressful checkups talking about Alex's plagiocephaly and torticollis, Nate's reflux and continued fussiness, Alex's speech, and their development delays. We had countless doctor's visits between checkups because the boys were ALWAYS sick.
After their 2 year checkup, I called my friend Julie-with-twins to celebrate the boys' NORMALNESS. We had two 2 year olds, no more worrying about delays and effed up heads and reflux vomiting. We even had a celebratory twin mom night out. We could move on to normal worries.
As I was filling out their 3 year ages and stages questionnaire, I was almost giddy with NORMALNESS. Every checkbox was yes. I didn't have to quiz them, test them, or practice anything. They could do everything listed on the sheet. It felt so great. But of course, I walked away from this appointment with both good news and bad news.
Good news: both kids are healthy, proportional, happy 3 year olds.
Bad news: I'll give it to you in least worry to most worry.
1. Heights and weights.
Alex height 36.5 inches (25%), weight 31.6 lb (50%)
Nate height 36.75 inches (25%), weight 30.8 (50%)
I plugged their stats into an online calculator again and AGAIN it says Alex will be 5'7" and Nate will be 5'9". This is not really a worry but what is the point of marrying someone 6'4" if you're going to have short kids?! Jon is borderline-freakishly tall so couldn't we at least have AVERAGE kids? Why shorties?
2. Alex's enunciation. Doctor agreed Alex's enunciation is a little behind his peers. It's not enough to have warranted a call to EI but it's still something we should keep on the Worry List. Because you know, I haven't done enough worrying and obsessing over Alex's speech over the last two years.
That's when I realized I've never mentioned on my blog that I was in speech therapy in elementary school. I used to slur my Ss and Zs. In fact, when I drink too much alcohol, I again slur my Ss and Zs, which is how I know when to stop drinking. And while I know first-hand speech therapy is not that big of a deal, I just want to stop worrying on this one. (Side note: speech therapy was in the special ed class, so I would leave gifted class to go to special ed. Awesome.)
3. Alex's stuttering. He's started this just recently, and he mostly does it when Nate is talking over him. But the doctor told me specifically to google stuttering to find the website stutteringhelp.org and if Alex is still doing it at 3 1/2, we get a referral to speech.
The last time I was told to google something by a doctor, Alex ended up in a helmet and 9 months of physical therapy.
So you can see why I'm worried.
At their first checkup, we each held a screaming 2 week old baby while frantically mixing bottles, changing diapers, trying to listen to the doctor, and nearly hyperventilating from the realization that there was no turning back.
We then had a series of stressful checkups talking about Alex's plagiocephaly and torticollis, Nate's reflux and continued fussiness, Alex's speech, and their development delays. We had countless doctor's visits between checkups because the boys were ALWAYS sick.
After their 2 year checkup, I called my friend Julie-with-twins to celebrate the boys' NORMALNESS. We had two 2 year olds, no more worrying about delays and effed up heads and reflux vomiting. We even had a celebratory twin mom night out. We could move on to normal worries.
As I was filling out their 3 year ages and stages questionnaire, I was almost giddy with NORMALNESS. Every checkbox was yes. I didn't have to quiz them, test them, or practice anything. They could do everything listed on the sheet. It felt so great. But of course, I walked away from this appointment with both good news and bad news.
Good news: both kids are healthy, proportional, happy 3 year olds.
Bad news: I'll give it to you in least worry to most worry.
1. Heights and weights.
Alex height 36.5 inches (25%), weight 31.6 lb (50%)
Nate height 36.75 inches (25%), weight 30.8 (50%)
I plugged their stats into an online calculator again and AGAIN it says Alex will be 5'7" and Nate will be 5'9". This is not really a worry but what is the point of marrying someone 6'4" if you're going to have short kids?! Jon is borderline-freakishly tall so couldn't we at least have AVERAGE kids? Why shorties?
2. Alex's enunciation. Doctor agreed Alex's enunciation is a little behind his peers. It's not enough to have warranted a call to EI but it's still something we should keep on the Worry List. Because you know, I haven't done enough worrying and obsessing over Alex's speech over the last two years.
That's when I realized I've never mentioned on my blog that I was in speech therapy in elementary school. I used to slur my Ss and Zs. In fact, when I drink too much alcohol, I again slur my Ss and Zs, which is how I know when to stop drinking. And while I know first-hand speech therapy is not that big of a deal, I just want to stop worrying on this one. (Side note: speech therapy was in the special ed class, so I would leave gifted class to go to special ed. Awesome.)
3. Alex's stuttering. He's started this just recently, and he mostly does it when Nate is talking over him. But the doctor told me specifically to google stuttering to find the website stutteringhelp.org and if Alex is still doing it at 3 1/2, we get a referral to speech.
The last time I was told to google something by a doctor, Alex ended up in a helmet and 9 months of physical therapy.
So you can see why I'm worried.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Creating small moments
About a month ago, I read this beautiful post on Sarah and the Goon Squad about saying yes to your kids more often. With two full-time working parents (one of whom travels frequently) and two kids, it seems like we are often rushing through our days. The morning scramble is strict: get up, pick out clothes, eat breakfast, change clothes, sunscreen, out the door in just under 60 minutes. The nighttime routine is strict: wash hands, eat dinner, clean up, play, bath, bed.
There is so much NO in our house: from me, from Jon, from the kids.
I can not stop thinking about that post. I can not stop thinking about how I can incorporate YES into my day without feeling resentment about the lost time.
I've been working on this in small ways. One night last week when Jon was traveling, I took the kids to the shoe store. When we left, the boys were getting cranky so I thought about how I could say YES to life. I grabbed McD's (I never do fast food when Jon is gone which is DUMB, I know!) and told them we were going on a picnic.
We drove to downtown Cary, sat on a bench in front of city hall facing the train tracks, and had a picnic. And I was very much surprised to learn that about a million buses go in and out of the Cary train station. And I was so very glad I said YES because Nate and Alex were in little boy heaven. Mommy, another blue bus! Mommy, let's go see it!
I said YES again. We walked to the train station and watched people pour on and off the buses. Nate wanted a train schedule and I said yes. They wanted to walk to the library and I said yes. Along the way, they saw some dogs and said they wanted a dog. I said yes they could have a dog, and Nate pulled an imaginary puppy out of his shirt pocket. This was the first imaginary friend we've had in the house. After picking out books at the library, they didn't fight me when I said we had to go back to our car and go home.
It was one of the nicest nights I've had with the boys, and I have that wonderful post to thank.
Since then, I've found myself saying yes more often. Last night we took Jon to the airport and saw a baby deer in the grass in front of a business. On the way home, I stopped the car so we could all sit and watch the deer. This morning, I let us run late because there was a mom and baby rabbit in our backyard. They get so excited every time they see this duo back there. And when we got to school this morning, the first thing they told their teacher was there was a Mommy Bunny, a Nate Bunny, and an Alex Bunny in the backyard chasing each other.
What I've learned is by saying YES to my kids, I am also saying YES to myself. What I've learned is that by creating these moments for my kids, I am creating moments for myself. I thought I would doing this for them, but I've gotten so much out of it for me.
Try it. Say yes today.
There is so much NO in our house: from me, from Jon, from the kids.
I can not stop thinking about that post. I can not stop thinking about how I can incorporate YES into my day without feeling resentment about the lost time.
I've been working on this in small ways. One night last week when Jon was traveling, I took the kids to the shoe store. When we left, the boys were getting cranky so I thought about how I could say YES to life. I grabbed McD's (I never do fast food when Jon is gone which is DUMB, I know!) and told them we were going on a picnic.
We drove to downtown Cary, sat on a bench in front of city hall facing the train tracks, and had a picnic. And I was very much surprised to learn that about a million buses go in and out of the Cary train station. And I was so very glad I said YES because Nate and Alex were in little boy heaven. Mommy, another blue bus! Mommy, let's go see it!
I said YES again. We walked to the train station and watched people pour on and off the buses. Nate wanted a train schedule and I said yes. They wanted to walk to the library and I said yes. Along the way, they saw some dogs and said they wanted a dog. I said yes they could have a dog, and Nate pulled an imaginary puppy out of his shirt pocket. This was the first imaginary friend we've had in the house. After picking out books at the library, they didn't fight me when I said we had to go back to our car and go home.
It was one of the nicest nights I've had with the boys, and I have that wonderful post to thank.
Since then, I've found myself saying yes more often. Last night we took Jon to the airport and saw a baby deer in the grass in front of a business. On the way home, I stopped the car so we could all sit and watch the deer. This morning, I let us run late because there was a mom and baby rabbit in our backyard. They get so excited every time they see this duo back there. And when we got to school this morning, the first thing they told their teacher was there was a Mommy Bunny, a Nate Bunny, and an Alex Bunny in the backyard chasing each other.
What I've learned is by saying YES to my kids, I am also saying YES to myself. What I've learned is that by creating these moments for my kids, I am creating moments for myself. I thought I would doing this for them, but I've gotten so much out of it for me.
Try it. Say yes today.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Nate says the darndest things
Every parent I've ever met has one of "those" stories about their 3-5 year old saying something completely embarrassing in public. Something tells me that my story will be about Nate. I've already explained the whole Steve thing and how Nate remembers everything we tell him. On Saturday, Nate wanted to come into the bathroom with me when I needed to go.
Nate: Mommy let me see your p.enis.
Me: I don't have one.
Nate: Why don't you have one?
Me: Only boys have them. Girls don't have them.
As I said the words to him, I knew they would come back later.
This morning, Jon was getting the boys ready for school and Nate said in his loudest possible voice, "Did you know only boys have p.enises? Girls don't have them." The look on Jon's face was priceless. How do you even respond to that? Um, thanks? Yes, that's correct? Thanks for the info buddy? Why do you choose to tell me this when I'm just trying to brush your teeth?
PS. My Jon and Kate Plus 8 premiere thoughts on HDYDI today.
Nate: Mommy let me see your p.enis.
Me: I don't have one.
Nate: Why don't you have one?
Me: Only boys have them. Girls don't have them.
As I said the words to him, I knew they would come back later.
This morning, Jon was getting the boys ready for school and Nate said in his loudest possible voice, "Did you know only boys have p.enises? Girls don't have them." The look on Jon's face was priceless. How do you even respond to that? Um, thanks? Yes, that's correct? Thanks for the info buddy? Why do you choose to tell me this when I'm just trying to brush your teeth?
PS. My Jon and Kate Plus 8 premiere thoughts on HDYDI today.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Birthday party picture overload
Nate successfully went diaper-free all night. Woo hoo!
But he woke up with a mystery fever.
And Alex's potty training is going like every other potty training attempt we've had with him - horribly. Again we've lost count of the number of times he's peed on the floor. Again we're most likely heading back to diapers.
And it looks like it is about to storm here.
This seems like a perfect time to share the pictures Wendy Willis took at the boys' birthday party last weekend!
I enlisted Jon's help to make six kid-sized tables while I made signs for each table out of foam and foam letters.
I set up each table in our garage ahead of time so I could make sure I had enough supplies and didn't forget anything. I figured the painting table would be the most popular.
I was definitely right about the painting. Every time I looked over, Alex was doing something else with the paint - pouring it, painting his hands, mixing colors together. Sometimes he actually painted too.
I also put colored sand along with regular sand in our sand table. It was also a hit but next time, I would buy a lot more bags of colored sand.
And obviously the worms and dirt cupcakes were a huge hit as well. I've decided mini cupcakes are my all-time favorite because the frosting to cupcake ratio is so high.
Before the guests arrived, we had Wendy take some family and individual photos. Nate can be such a ham for strangers sometimes!
And if anyone wants to know how we get the boys to cooperate with photos, here's the secret: candy. This day it was gummy worms leftover from the cupcakes.
But he woke up with a mystery fever.
And Alex's potty training is going like every other potty training attempt we've had with him - horribly. Again we've lost count of the number of times he's peed on the floor. Again we're most likely heading back to diapers.
And it looks like it is about to storm here.
This seems like a perfect time to share the pictures Wendy Willis took at the boys' birthday party last weekend!
I enlisted Jon's help to make six kid-sized tables while I made signs for each table out of foam and foam letters.
I set up each table in our garage ahead of time so I could make sure I had enough supplies and didn't forget anything. I figured the painting table would be the most popular.I was definitely right about the painting. Every time I looked over, Alex was doing something else with the paint - pouring it, painting his hands, mixing colors together. Sometimes he actually painted too.I also put colored sand along with regular sand in our sand table. It was also a hit but next time, I would buy a lot more bags of colored sand.And obviously the worms and dirt cupcakes were a huge hit as well. I've decided mini cupcakes are my all-time favorite because the frosting to cupcake ratio is so high.
Before the guests arrived, we had Wendy take some family and individual photos. Nate can be such a ham for strangers sometimes!
And if anyone wants to know how we get the boys to cooperate with photos, here's the secret: candy. This day it was gummy worms leftover from the cupcakes.
Overall it was a great day, made greater by letting someone else be behind the camera.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Another sleep transition
We separated the boys into separate bedrooms this week. Crazy, right?
Over the last couple of weeks, Nate had been protesting and stalling at bedtime worse and worse every night. Once in the room, he was acting up in any way possible to get sent to time out. He and Alex were in there playing, singing, and talking until at least 9 every night. At wake time each day, they were still sleeping and Nate was a horrible grouch.
With Jon gone, I separated them on Tuesday night to see what happened. Nate was so excited to be in a room by himself. He went in there and didn't make a peep the rest of the night. Alex played around in his room for about 30 minutes then went to sleep. We've kept them apart each night and each night is a repeat: Nate excited to go to bed, and not a peep from either room starting at 8PM. It is glorious. Apparently when Nate was acting up, he was trying to tell us he wanted to sleep!
Because we only have 3 bedrooms, we were reluctant to separate them because we often get overnight guests. By separating them at age 3, we have the flexibility to put them in the same room when we have a guest and separate them when we do not. Nate sleeps on the guest room bed so there was no rearrangement of furniture. And I'm comfortable leaving it up to them every night. If they want to sleep together, they can. If not, they have separate rooms.
I expected to feel a lot of emotion over this separation, similar to what RaJen recently described, but the only emotion I feel is happiness. I'm happy we found a solution that works for everyone and didn't include months of sleeplessness and craziness. In the past, Alex had a very tough time being apart from Nate but he seems to have outgrown it. And with nighttime potty training on the near horizon, this is a good time for them to be in separate rooms.
Speaking of which, we're taking diapers away from Alex this weekend.
And we're taking away overnight pullups from Nate.
And it's a HOLIDAY.
Wish us luck!
Over the last couple of weeks, Nate had been protesting and stalling at bedtime worse and worse every night. Once in the room, he was acting up in any way possible to get sent to time out. He and Alex were in there playing, singing, and talking until at least 9 every night. At wake time each day, they were still sleeping and Nate was a horrible grouch.
With Jon gone, I separated them on Tuesday night to see what happened. Nate was so excited to be in a room by himself. He went in there and didn't make a peep the rest of the night. Alex played around in his room for about 30 minutes then went to sleep. We've kept them apart each night and each night is a repeat: Nate excited to go to bed, and not a peep from either room starting at 8PM. It is glorious. Apparently when Nate was acting up, he was trying to tell us he wanted to sleep!
Because we only have 3 bedrooms, we were reluctant to separate them because we often get overnight guests. By separating them at age 3, we have the flexibility to put them in the same room when we have a guest and separate them when we do not. Nate sleeps on the guest room bed so there was no rearrangement of furniture. And I'm comfortable leaving it up to them every night. If they want to sleep together, they can. If not, they have separate rooms.
I expected to feel a lot of emotion over this separation, similar to what RaJen recently described, but the only emotion I feel is happiness. I'm happy we found a solution that works for everyone and didn't include months of sleeplessness and craziness. In the past, Alex had a very tough time being apart from Nate but he seems to have outgrown it. And with nighttime potty training on the near horizon, this is a good time for them to be in separate rooms.
Speaking of which, we're taking diapers away from Alex this weekend.
And we're taking away overnight pullups from Nate.
And it's a HOLIDAY.
Wish us luck!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Sometimes it feels SO GOOD to be SO RIGHT
Nate has been on a mad licking phase. He licks things on purpose - tables, walls, umbrella poles. It is maddening. What is the point of all this hand washing if he's going to turn around and lick the floor?! He knows it drives us crazy so he has started to lick things while singing, "I'm licking! I'm licking! Licking licking licking."
(Smart, that one is.)
Between Alex's spitting, Nate's licking, Alex's nose picking, and Nate's loud talking about potty habits... UGH. Our house can be gross. We've tried very patiently to explain to Nate he can get sick or hurt if he licks things. Last night at bedtime, the boys unplugged their Moby Tykelights and Nate licked the Moby plug. You know, the plug that plugs into the wall into the ELECTRICAL SOCKET with live electricity.
He yelled, "Ouch! That hurt!" and I said with the smuggest I'm-the-mom-and-I-know-all voice, "That's why you don't lick things. You might get hurt."
IT FELT SO GOOD.
(Then of course I hugged him.)
(Smart, that one is.)
Between Alex's spitting, Nate's licking, Alex's nose picking, and Nate's loud talking about potty habits... UGH. Our house can be gross. We've tried very patiently to explain to Nate he can get sick or hurt if he licks things. Last night at bedtime, the boys unplugged their Moby Tykelights and Nate licked the Moby plug. You know, the plug that plugs into the wall into the ELECTRICAL SOCKET with live electricity.
He yelled, "Ouch! That hurt!" and I said with the smuggest I'm-the-mom-and-I-know-all voice, "That's why you don't lick things. You might get hurt."
IT FELT SO GOOD.
(Then of course I hugged him.)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Something tells me 3 is going to be hard, real hard
Nate has been pretty defiant and argumentative lately. At day care pickup yesterday, he was arguing about everything. Didn't want to leave. Didn't want to get in the car. Didn't want to ride on that side. I asked him why he was being so argumentative. Duh, probably too big of a word for a 3 year old. I then asked him why he was fighting with me.
He said, "I like it. I like fighting. I love it."
Nice.
I'm loving 3 so far.
*****
Jon has been gone for just 24 hours. In that span of time, Alex has unexpectedly and mischievously:
* Ripped half the spine off a library book
* Pulled the tablecloth off the table, spilling milk all over the floor. Twice.
* Spit an entire mouthful of milk onto his plate
Nice.
I'm loving 3 so far.
He said, "I like it. I like fighting. I love it."
Nice.
I'm loving 3 so far.
*****
Jon has been gone for just 24 hours. In that span of time, Alex has unexpectedly and mischievously:
* Ripped half the spine off a library book
* Pulled the tablecloth off the table, spilling milk all over the floor. Twice.
* Spit an entire mouthful of milk onto his plate
Nice.
I'm loving 3 so far.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Presents from the grandmas
Both grandmas came into town for the boys' birthday party. They asked what the boys wanted as gifts and we said they would love to go to Build-A-Bear and pick out their own stuffed animal. And as expected, each boy picked out a puppy.
The boys looked so grown up at Build-A-Bear and they proudly carry their puppies around the house. The grandmas also helped keep the boys entertained while Jon and I prepared for the party. Thank you grandmas for another great visit! Jon and I are lucky to have such great moms.
This is the fourth puppy that must be in bed with Alex every night, in addition to two pillows, two blankets, and Kitty Cat. What can I say? If it makes the boys sleep all night, they can sleep with 20 stuffed animals.
The boys looked so grown up at Build-A-Bear and they proudly carry their puppies around the house. The grandmas also helped keep the boys entertained while Jon and I prepared for the party. Thank you grandmas for another great visit! Jon and I are lucky to have such great moms. 
Monday, May 18, 2009
3rd birthday party roundup, part one
(I took no pictures on Saturday so these are from my mother-in-law.)
For the boys' first birthday, we opted not to have a party because we were exhausted. For the boys' second birthday, we had a low-key party at a children's museum because 2 year olds are not known for their long attention spans. For their third birthday, I wanted to replicate something I read about in Mothering Magazine while I was pregnant: a toddler art party.
After getting some help and inspiration from Erin (who might be the best party planner on earth), I put together a plan and enlisted Jon's help. Jon built 6 kid-sized tables that we used as stations: painting, play dough, arts & crafts, snacks, and most importantly, Clean Up! We also had the sand table out with colored sand. What you can not see in the picture below is all the parents standing around chatting while 14 three years olds & 2 one year olds played!
The highlight was intended to be painting. The plan was to let the kids go crazy painting without worrying about the mess. I can safely say I would recommend Melissa and Doug washable paints as all of this came out in the washer and dishwasher.
Jon also assembled fridge boxes into a house and tunnel for the kids to paint on.
I was super impressed with the Goodman girls, who walked right up and started painting directly on their faces and bodies. Michele posted some great pictures of her girls on her blog. We've got lots of paint left over so something tells me we'll be doing this again soon.
Erin also gave me the idea for the worms and dirt cupcakes. She suggested piping pudding into each cupcake. OF COURSE I did a trial run of of these and while they were delicious, I realized we would need to refrigerate them. We omitted the pudding so they could made the day before. I decided to make a vanilla version and chocolate version for variety, and my mom did all the decorating once they were baked. I also made mini ones for the parents, but I think Jon and I ate more mini ones than everyone else put together.
I also have to a give huge shout-out to all the guests. We asked people to bring food for a local food pantry in lieu of gifts, and people were incredibly generous. We have boxes and boxes of food to donate. In addition to generosity, everyone really got into the spirit of the party and let their kids play. Overall I have to declare the party a smashing success.
For the boys' first birthday, we opted not to have a party because we were exhausted. For the boys' second birthday, we had a low-key party at a children's museum because 2 year olds are not known for their long attention spans. For their third birthday, I wanted to replicate something I read about in Mothering Magazine while I was pregnant: a toddler art party.
After getting some help and inspiration from Erin (who might be the best party planner on earth), I put together a plan and enlisted Jon's help. Jon built 6 kid-sized tables that we used as stations: painting, play dough, arts & crafts, snacks, and most importantly, Clean Up! We also had the sand table out with colored sand. What you can not see in the picture below is all the parents standing around chatting while 14 three years olds & 2 one year olds played!
The highlight was intended to be painting. The plan was to let the kids go crazy painting without worrying about the mess. I can safely say I would recommend Melissa and Doug washable paints as all of this came out in the washer and dishwasher.
Jon also assembled fridge boxes into a house and tunnel for the kids to paint on.
I was super impressed with the Goodman girls, who walked right up and started painting directly on their faces and bodies. Michele posted some great pictures of her girls on her blog. We've got lots of paint left over so something tells me we'll be doing this again soon.
Erin also gave me the idea for the worms and dirt cupcakes. She suggested piping pudding into each cupcake. OF COURSE I did a trial run of of these and while they were delicious, I realized we would need to refrigerate them. We omitted the pudding so they could made the day before. I decided to make a vanilla version and chocolate version for variety, and my mom did all the decorating once they were baked. I also made mini ones for the parents, but I think Jon and I ate more mini ones than everyone else put together.
I also have to a give huge shout-out to all the guests. We asked people to bring food for a local food pantry in lieu of gifts, and people were incredibly generous. We have boxes and boxes of food to donate. In addition to generosity, everyone really got into the spirit of the party and let their kids play. Overall I have to declare the party a smashing success.
I know two little boys who had a particularly spectacular time.
Part two coming up once we get the professional pictures!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Birthday picture sneak peek
Because we were expecting so many people at the party, we hired a photographer to take pictures so Jon and I could enjoy ourselves. We won't have the pictures for a little bit but she sent this yesterday and it's too good not to share.
We sang Happy Birthday to Alex first as he is the oldest. When it came time to blow out Alex's candles, Nate enthusiasticly helped blow them out. While lighting Nate's candles, Alex was pouting about Nate blowing out his candles. I told Alex he could help blow out Nate's candles.
When it came time, Alex was even more "enthusiastic" about blowing out Nate's candles, and ended up jostling the table enough that the cupcake fell off the stand...
We sang Happy Birthday to Alex first as he is the oldest. When it came time to blow out Alex's candles, Nate enthusiasticly helped blow them out. While lighting Nate's candles, Alex was pouting about Nate blowing out his candles. I told Alex he could help blow out Nate's candles.
When it came time, Alex was even more "enthusiastic" about blowing out Nate's candles, and ended up jostling the table enough that the cupcake fell off the stand...
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Happy birthday Alex! Happy birthday Nate!
My sweet little Alex, I don't know where three years have gone. This year flew by so fast.
My sweet little Nate, I don't know where three years have gone. This year flew by so fast.
It seems like just yesterday we were overconfident over how easy-going and cooperative you turned out to be. You taught us much about patience and unconditional love this year as you became the poster child for Terrible (yet Tender) Twos. There is so much fire in you, like your mother.
The changes in you this year were not the least bit subtle. You are still the Nate we've always known. You are an enthusiastic loud talker. You still love music and sing very loud. You are outgoing and dive head-first into new situations. You are still so opinionated about what you wear, what you eat, and what we do and those opinions are loud. In every way, you became More Nate this year. I didn't think it was possible to love you more, but somehow this year you found new places in my heart to live.
This year your relationship with Alex blossomed. You finally figured out Alex will listen to you if you play with him and it makes me so happy to see you together. You've finally let Alex into your heart and I am so lucky to have seen you grow into brothers.
My second born, baby B, Nate. During your third trip around the sun, I finally grew into my role as a mother. Every night when I tuck you in bed you look up at me with your big blue eyes and I see the depth of love you have for me. It catches my breath every time to know that you feel the way about me that I feel about you. You are, and will always be, my favorite boy with blue eyes in the whole world.
My sweet dear little boys,
I cried as I wrote these letters to you. This was the first year I realized how short our time together is. I want to slow down to remember every moment with you because these have been the best three years of my life. You and your father have been the biggest blessings I have ever received and I hope every year together is as good as this year. 
Happy 3rd birthday Alex. Happy 3rd birthday Nate.Love,
Mom
It seems like just yesterday we were worried about your speech and you were throwing massive tantrums. Now you talk like a little adult and show us endless amounts of affection. There is so much sweetness inside you, just like your father.
The changes in you this year were subtle. You are still the Alex we've always known. You want to touch everything. You are enthusiastic about hugs and playing rough. Your head is still made of steel. You are still so sensitive with your emotions and wary of new things. In every way, you became More Alex this year. I didn't think it was possible to love you more, but somehow this year you found new places in my heart to live.
This year your relationship with Nate blossomed. You learned how to better navigate your brother's moods and wants, and it makes me so happy to see you together. He still makes you laugh more than anything else and I am so lucky to have seen you grow into brothers.
My firstborn, baby A, Alex. During your third trip around the sun, I finally grew into my role as a mother. Every night when I tuck you in bed you look up at me with your big brown eyes and I see the depth of love you have for me. It catches my breath every time to know that you feel the way about me that I feel about you. You are, and will always be, my favorite boy with brown eyes in the whole world.
My sweet little Nate, I don't know where three years have gone. This year flew by so fast.
It seems like just yesterday we were overconfident over how easy-going and cooperative you turned out to be. You taught us much about patience and unconditional love this year as you became the poster child for Terrible (yet Tender) Twos. There is so much fire in you, like your mother.
The changes in you this year were not the least bit subtle. You are still the Nate we've always known. You are an enthusiastic loud talker. You still love music and sing very loud. You are outgoing and dive head-first into new situations. You are still so opinionated about what you wear, what you eat, and what we do and those opinions are loud. In every way, you became More Nate this year. I didn't think it was possible to love you more, but somehow this year you found new places in my heart to live.
This year your relationship with Alex blossomed. You finally figured out Alex will listen to you if you play with him and it makes me so happy to see you together. You've finally let Alex into your heart and I am so lucky to have seen you grow into brothers.
My second born, baby B, Nate. During your third trip around the sun, I finally grew into my role as a mother. Every night when I tuck you in bed you look up at me with your big blue eyes and I see the depth of love you have for me. It catches my breath every time to know that you feel the way about me that I feel about you. You are, and will always be, my favorite boy with blue eyes in the whole world.
My sweet dear little boys,
I cried as I wrote these letters to you. This was the first year I realized how short our time together is. I want to slow down to remember every moment with you because these have been the best three years of my life. You and your father have been the biggest blessings I have ever received and I hope every year together is as good as this year.
Happy 3rd birthday Alex. Happy 3rd birthday Nate.
Mom
Friday, May 15, 2009
Last day of 2
Good bye terrible twoness, I will not miss you.
Good bye toddlerhood, I will not miss you.
Good bye indecision, I will not miss you. (I'll see you again in the teens.)
Good bye worries about Alex's speech, I will not miss you.
Good bye hornets in the fireplace, I will not miss you.
Good bye sippy cups, I will not miss you.
Good bye teething, I will not miss you.
Good bye toddlerhood, I will not miss you.
Good bye indecision, I will not miss you. (I'll see you again in the teens.)
Good bye worries about Alex's speech, I will not miss you.
Good bye hornets in the fireplace, I will not miss you.
Good bye sippy cups, I will not miss you.
Good bye teething, I will not miss you.
Who am I kidding? I'm going to miss every minute of the past year.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
T minus two days = lots of prep work
Alex and Nate turn 3 on Saturday, which means Case Casa has been full of a flurry of emotions and preparation. I wrote earlier this week on HDYDI about my feelings on the boys turning 3. For those who don't want to click through, I'll summarize to say that I feel sad at how quickly the time is passing by. I'm finding the hardest part of mothering is learning to let go little by little as the boys grow up.
First up in the preparations department - gifts. Fortune (and blogging) smiled upon us as Goddess opened her etsy shop Teeny Tiny Quilts just in time for us to put in a birthday order. We wanted something special and handmade for the boys but I am not crafty, so this was a perfect solution. Nate and Alex have stuffed puppies they treat as their children, and the first time I saw Goddess' doll quilts, I knew the perfect gift for the boys: quilts for their beloved puppies.
I gave her the bare minimum: two dog-themed quilts, one red, one blue. She ran with the idea and knocked it out of the park. Here's what the boys will be getting from us (picture courtesy of Goddess' crafting blog where you can see more quilts):
Gorgeous! I can not wait to see the boys' faces when they open them. YAY HANDMADE!
Next up in the preparations department - landscaping. It is no secret it has been a busy and expensive three years for us. After putting together a landscaping to-do list for the summer, we realized we would spend almost every weekend in the yard instead of enjoying the pool. We hired a landscaper (she is awesome, email me if you want her name) to complete the list. In just two days, almost everything is complete!
One work still in progress is putting rocks under the deck. The ground under the deck stays moist most of the year and the boys now immediately head there to play "dig." They recently came up with the game "throw dirt on each other's heads when mom and dad take bathroom breaks." The rocks should stop that game for awhile. (Here Nate is "watering" the rocks.)
She also bed-edged our entire property. While the noise was deafening when it was occurring, the results are magnificent - clean, clear edges between the grass and pine straw. Loves it.
We're also throwing a birthday party at our house. The theme is "messy party" and I'm very excited to see how it turns out. I did have one last shout-out. Via Twitter, I found the Mudpuddle Twins CafePress shop and they have the cutest stuff for multiples ever! I could go crazy in that store. I have my eye on a matching set of "See you later alligator" and "After while crocodile" shirts for the boys. For the party, I bought this yard sign and again, loves it:
The rest of the preparations I must keep off my blog so as not to ruin the party on Saturday. Let's just say PLEASE OH PLEASE hope for clear skies because we've got a lot of people coming and a lot of mess that will be made if everything needs to move indoors.
Yesterday I finished up the big whopping birthday letters to the boys that I plan to auto-post here Saturday. After I spent so much time picking out the pictures to go with the letters, of course I managed to get cooperation from Nate to take a great photo. I don't feel like going back to edit that post, so here's a bonus picture of Nate for you!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Bouncy bounce bounce
Saturday morning was another birthday party, this time for some twin friends. They held it at Bounce U, which was the cleanest, nicest bounce place I've seen. If I needed any proof that Nate and Alex are Big Boys, here it is:
Alex didn't want anything to do with the bouncing. Fortunately Bounce U had a ball area set up specifically for kids like Alex. He had a blast kicking balls, running around, and playing with Jon.
I told Jon this was a preview of what life might be like when we go to amusement parks. Nate and I will rush off to the biggest, scariest, craziest rides while Jon and Alex hang out at the kiddie rides. Then everyone can meet back up to eat junk food. I love that being a parent means I get to be a kid all over again!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Why I love our video monitor
About 30 minutes after the boys went to bed last night, I heard a lot of commotion over the monitor. It clearly sounded like fighting but I didn't worry too much because they know they are not supposed to get out of their beds. We're working on getting the boys to work out minor differences on their own instead of running to us to tattle on everything, so I was hoping to leave them alone. As the shouting (and giggling) escalated, I decided to turn on the video monitor to determine whether I needed to go in or not.
After the screen came on, I could see Nate lying in bed with Alex. Nate would pretend to do something to Alex, Alex would giggle hysterically, then Nate would shout at Alex for laughing. Alex would shout back, which would make Nate do something (couldn't quite see over the monitor), which would make Alex laugh again, which would make Nate yell, which would make Alex yell. Over and over.
I ran to Jon and told him to come watch the monitor. We stood there giggling watching the entire thing unfold. Nate kept getting so angry at Alex but HELLO NATE you are in Alex's bed! And it's a toddler bed so it's not like it's a big bed! I don't know whether Jon and I were more surprised that they were in bed together (thus flaunting our "don't get out of bed" rule) or that Nate was voluntarily playing with Alex. Finally they started playing a game called "eat you" where they would try to bite each other, at which point I had to go in and break things up.
All night I wondered how often they have been getting out of their beds without us knowing it. And as much as I loved watching them play on the video monitor, I think we need to let them have this space to play together alone so the monitor will stay off.
Obviously though, we now know if we hear "no eat me!" it means it's time to turn on the video monitor.
After the screen came on, I could see Nate lying in bed with Alex. Nate would pretend to do something to Alex, Alex would giggle hysterically, then Nate would shout at Alex for laughing. Alex would shout back, which would make Nate do something (couldn't quite see over the monitor), which would make Alex laugh again, which would make Nate yell, which would make Alex yell. Over and over.
I ran to Jon and told him to come watch the monitor. We stood there giggling watching the entire thing unfold. Nate kept getting so angry at Alex but HELLO NATE you are in Alex's bed! And it's a toddler bed so it's not like it's a big bed! I don't know whether Jon and I were more surprised that they were in bed together (thus flaunting our "don't get out of bed" rule) or that Nate was voluntarily playing with Alex. Finally they started playing a game called "eat you" where they would try to bite each other, at which point I had to go in and break things up.
All night I wondered how often they have been getting out of their beds without us knowing it. And as much as I loved watching them play on the video monitor, I think we need to let them have this space to play together alone so the monitor will stay off.
Obviously though, we now know if we hear "no eat me!" it means it's time to turn on the video monitor.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
My favorite part of my favorite Mother's Day ever
Jon rocked Mother's Day gifts this year, really rocked them. In addition to my traditional Mother's Day bookmarks (with pictures of the boys), I got a picnic table and blanket I've been ogling for summer picnics with the boys. I also got a replacement for my old broke down broken cell phone (new phone = iphone, boo yah). But that wasn't my favorite part of Mother's Day.
We hit up Target for some birthday party stuff then went to Kids Towne (awesome outdoor park with castles and boat) where the kids played like crazy. Jon and I used to sweat chasing the boys around Kids Towne but this time they were old enough to do everything themselves while Jon and I sat and chatted. But that wasn't my favorite part of Mother's Day.
Instead of the boys picking flowers for me, they picked strawberries for (and with) me.
Yet it was not my favorite part of Mother's Day. After the boys went to bed, we had steaks and wine and watched the latest Charlie Kaufman movie... still not my favorite part of this very perfect day (did I also mention I slept in?). My favorite part was something completely free, completely surprising, and completely awesome. My favorite part of Mother's Day was this little gem from day care:
Blessed, blessed, blessed, I am so blessed. I hope you all had a Mother's Day like mine.
We hit up Target for some birthday party stuff then went to Kids Towne (awesome outdoor park with castles and boat) where the kids played like crazy. Jon and I used to sweat chasing the boys around Kids Towne but this time they were old enough to do everything themselves while Jon and I sat and chatted. But that wasn't my favorite part of Mother's Day.
Instead of the boys picking flowers for me, they picked strawberries for (and with) me.
I had been dreaming of strawberry picking this year with the boys but since the strawberry fields have opened, we haven't had a chance to go. With the weather a perfect 80 degrees and sunny, I chose this as the way I wanted to spend Mother's Day. And it was everything I dreamed.
Yet it was not my favorite part of Mother's Day. After the boys went to bed, we had steaks and wine and watched the latest Charlie Kaufman movie... still not my favorite part of this very perfect day (did I also mention I slept in?). My favorite part was something completely free, completely surprising, and completely awesome. My favorite part of Mother's Day was this little gem from day care:
Blessed, blessed, blessed, I am so blessed. I hope you all had a Mother's Day like mine.
Friday, May 08, 2009
Ticks!
Now that the boys are older, Jon and I have been tackling some larger items on our to-do list. One of those items is major landscaping in the backyard. The landscaper came out yesterday and took down three dead trees in our backyard in under an hour, which was very exciting for me and Jon. She mentioned this year is really bad for ticks and they got three ticks themselves taking down our trees.
Ugh. Ticks and snakes are my two least favorite critters. At least with snakes you can run away. But ticks burrow into your skin. And we have two little boys who need nightly tick checks.
At bedtime, I told the boys we had to check for ticks and I sang "tick tick tick" as I checked them all over. They laughed hysterically as I tickled them and both joined in chanting TICK TICK TICK.
This game is going to be so fun every night UNTIL the first time one of them gets a real tick.
Ugh. Ticks and snakes are my two least favorite critters. At least with snakes you can run away. But ticks burrow into your skin. And we have two little boys who need nightly tick checks.
At bedtime, I told the boys we had to check for ticks and I sang "tick tick tick" as I checked them all over. They laughed hysterically as I tickled them and both joined in chanting TICK TICK TICK.
This game is going to be so fun every night UNTIL the first time one of them gets a real tick.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Dilemmas in peer pressure parenting
Everyone says as kids get older, the problems just get bigger. Recently I experienced this twice.
We were out shopping for clothes for the boys' birthday and Nate saw some white strappy sandals. He took off his shoes and put on the white sandals, talking about how his friend Sydney has shoes like that. We got some SERIOUS looks from strangers.
Later in the week, a friend asked if we were going to have more kids. I said no and she asked if we wanted a girl. I said we were very happy with two boys. She then made a comment about how she loved having a daughter because her daughter enjoyed putting on makeup and painting nails. I said my boys enjoyed doing that also.
BIG mistake. She could barely compose her face to respond. And here's what I don't get. The boys aren't even three! Of course they are going to be attracted to pretty things and doing things mommy does. At this age, I don't feel comfortable telling them they can't wear make up.
The bigger issue is that I don't think I would feel comfortable telling them at 16 or 26 that they can't wear make up. They are going to get enough peer pressure in their lives to conform to expectations of "maleness" that I don't want more peer pressure coming from their mother. As their mom, I want to accept them for who they are and not for who society thinks they should be. And this is even more important to me as a woman in technology as I've never done things the way a "typical" woman does.
Come on, I'm 35 and I still don't know how to wear eye shadow.
Yet I understand it is my job to teach them. I just don't think 3 is the right age to start talking about gender roles in society. And I don't want to say to my 3 year olds that certain clothes are girl clothes. Or certain toys are boy toys. They'll get enough of that the rest of their lives, so why take those things away at such a young age?
Thoughts? How have you handled similar situations?
We were out shopping for clothes for the boys' birthday and Nate saw some white strappy sandals. He took off his shoes and put on the white sandals, talking about how his friend Sydney has shoes like that. We got some SERIOUS looks from strangers.
Later in the week, a friend asked if we were going to have more kids. I said no and she asked if we wanted a girl. I said we were very happy with two boys. She then made a comment about how she loved having a daughter because her daughter enjoyed putting on makeup and painting nails. I said my boys enjoyed doing that also.
BIG mistake. She could barely compose her face to respond. And here's what I don't get. The boys aren't even three! Of course they are going to be attracted to pretty things and doing things mommy does. At this age, I don't feel comfortable telling them they can't wear make up.
The bigger issue is that I don't think I would feel comfortable telling them at 16 or 26 that they can't wear make up. They are going to get enough peer pressure in their lives to conform to expectations of "maleness" that I don't want more peer pressure coming from their mother. As their mom, I want to accept them for who they are and not for who society thinks they should be. And this is even more important to me as a woman in technology as I've never done things the way a "typical" woman does.
Come on, I'm 35 and I still don't know how to wear eye shadow.
Yet I understand it is my job to teach them. I just don't think 3 is the right age to start talking about gender roles in society. And I don't want to say to my 3 year olds that certain clothes are girl clothes. Or certain toys are boy toys. They'll get enough of that the rest of their lives, so why take those things away at such a young age?
Thoughts? How have you handled similar situations?
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
I'm probably setting myself up for extra blog work after this post
Here's a little surprise for Grandma Roxane:
Sorry Nate decided to feature his underwear in the video. Most kids want character underwear. Nate asked for white underwear.
I also remember when the boys were 6 months old wondering when they would stop putting stuff in their mouths. I'm still waiting for the answer to that question. You would think with all the tenderness they show their puppies, they wouldn't constantly chew on them as well.
Sorry Nate decided to feature his underwear in the video. Most kids want character underwear. Nate asked for white underwear.
I also remember when the boys were 6 months old wondering when they would stop putting stuff in their mouths. I'm still waiting for the answer to that question. You would think with all the tenderness they show their puppies, they wouldn't constantly chew on them as well.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Triplet weekend recap
Jon and I survived Triplet Weekend with very few battle scars. All three boys had a great time and it was fairly easy to incorporate a third kid into our routine. That said, the weekend provided Jon and I with some wonderful insight on two topics:
* We work much better as 2-kid parents.
* Having twins is very different than having a singleton.
For the second bullet point, I wrote an entire post on HDYDI about what it was like to have a singleton in the house. I think this weekend was good for everyone.
Going into the weekend, Jon and I were 99.99% sure we were done with kids. But to be totally honest, sometimes when I walk past BabyGap and see a frilly pink sundress in the window, that 0.01% rises in my throat and I long for a girl with curly pigtails. Not anymore.
We went to a party on Saturday morning and Jon and I were SWEATING trying to corral three 3 year olds for three hours. We're good at zone defense but it seemed like we never got a chance to do anything but care for the kids. All three kids pooped, all three kids needed to eat, all three kids needed to be watched. I shoveled a hot dog into my mouth standing up and that was it for food before I was needed to do something.
Jon and I have grown into our freedom lately and we love it. We love how easy things feel with the boys now. Having a third would mean another transition, switching to zone defense for good, and lots more sweating it in public. And believe me, I have sweated enough in public the last three years, thank you very much.
Before anyone takes any of this the wrong way, we had a great time. The pictures tell the story of how much fun we all had. It's just that our family truly does feel complete with two little boys. I think I've known that in my heart for a very long time but experiencing three helped me come to terms with never having curly pigtails in my house.
* We work much better as 2-kid parents.
* Having twins is very different than having a singleton.
For the second bullet point, I wrote an entire post on HDYDI about what it was like to have a singleton in the house. I think this weekend was good for everyone.
Going into the weekend, Jon and I were 99.99% sure we were done with kids. But to be totally honest, sometimes when I walk past BabyGap and see a frilly pink sundress in the window, that 0.01% rises in my throat and I long for a girl with curly pigtails. Not anymore.
We went to a party on Saturday morning and Jon and I were SWEATING trying to corral three 3 year olds for three hours. We're good at zone defense but it seemed like we never got a chance to do anything but care for the kids. All three kids pooped, all three kids needed to eat, all three kids needed to be watched. I shoveled a hot dog into my mouth standing up and that was it for food before I was needed to do something.
Jon and I have grown into our freedom lately and we love it. We love how easy things feel with the boys now. Having a third would mean another transition, switching to zone defense for good, and lots more sweating it in public. And believe me, I have sweated enough in public the last three years, thank you very much.
Before anyone takes any of this the wrong way, we had a great time. The pictures tell the story of how much fun we all had. It's just that our family truly does feel complete with two little boys. I think I've known that in my heart for a very long time but experiencing three helped me come to terms with never having curly pigtails in my house.
Monday, May 04, 2009
So tired, so very tired
I was beat yesterday so I took a nap when all the boys napped. This caused me to stay up way too late watching Amazing Race. Then we got our yearly May surprise this morning at 6:30 -some stupid bird pecks the transom window over our front door incessantly each morning.
Many thoughts on triplet weekend. Recap tomorrow. For now, extra coffee please.
Many thoughts on triplet weekend. Recap tomorrow. For now, extra coffee please.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Triplet weekend pictures, round two
Every time I'm away from my kids, I wonder if they're having fun. So Heather and Bill, if you're wondering if Ben is having fun at Case Casa, here's your answer:
Oh yeah, this is my mommy blog so let me point out my kids are having fun too.
With the warm weather, we decided to get out the water snake to let the boys play.
Now I have OFTEN suggested activities to the boys to get some photos, such as asking them to put their arms around each other or set them up in a tobaggan. The activity below was spontaneous. Jon and I were cleaning up the deck after dinner when we heard massive amounts of giggling. We found these antics going on.
Oh yeah, this is my mommy blog so let me point out my kids are having fun too.
With the warm weather, we decided to get out the water snake to let the boys play.
Now I have OFTEN suggested activities to the boys to get some photos, such as asking them to put their arms around each other or set them up in a tobaggan. The activity below was spontaneous. Jon and I were cleaning up the deck after dinner when we heard massive amounts of giggling. We found these antics going on.
And collapsing into a heap inspired massive giggling.
Oh yes, I think they are all having a very good time!
Oh yes, I think they are all having a very good time!
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