Last night was one of the worst nights I've had with the boys in a lonnnnnngggg time.
Scratch that. Last night was one of the worst nights I've had with NATE in a lonnnnnngggg time. I tried to go to my zen place and be cool, calm, and consistent. Instead I almost completely lost it with him.
Alex came home with a horrible bite mark on his arm and they both said it was Nate. Nate said he did it because Alex wouldn't share with him on the playground. After horrible objections and negativity all night, Nate chomped down on Alex's leg with no warning for no reason. He didn't just bite and release. He bit and held on, laughing as Alex cried. They are old enough to know this is not acceptable behavior.
I yelled at him when I sent him upstairs to time out. After time out, he was laughing about it and I yelled at him again and sent him back to time out. I very rarely yell at the kids but this was definitely a yelling situation because he hurt Alex so bad.
(And while we generally use 1 2 3 Magic and LOVE IT, I do think kids sometimes need to see how their actions impact other people's emotions.)
Alex was really crying hard so I cuddled with him on the couch and gave him oodles of TLC. I asked what would make him feel better and he said he wanted to lay down with me. As we lay on the couch, he snuggled close to me and said, "I love cuddling with you mommy."
Reason #6842 twins rule: when one acts like a devil, the other sometimes acts like an angel.
We talked more about biting and how it hurts Alex and makes mommy very very angry. And we talked about the privileges that will be lost if any more biting happens. And I had a nice glass of wine after the boys went to bed while waiting for Jon's flight to get home. And I tried not to worry about 3.5 times two.
12 comments:
Yikes! Sorry about the rough night.
Melly bit Jessie at school two days ago. A small small part of me is thankful that all three incidents where they've bitten kids, the victim has been Sis. That way, I feel perfectly fine getting irritated with other biters' parents when they bite my kids. Terrible of me, I know.
Anyhow, Melly didn't think it was funny, fortunately, but I think we may at another one of those points where we need to spell all the rules out again, because we haven't been nagging them about things like biting, and saying please and thank you, and taking turns, because we just expect them to remember after having tons of practice.
oh the biting! I broke up a fight the other day and chloe chomped down on MY arm. she realized it was me mid-bite and I almost laughed at the way her eyes swiveled in slow-mo up to my very very unhappy face. we also go immediately to the corner for biting. and purposefully hitting or pushing down.
at least there is wine. and for this we are all thankful :)
I remember MYSELF biting my sisters. If I have an opportunity of biting when I am angry any of these days, there will be a lot of damage. Do you still feel anger in your jaw? I do. I was also bit by a cousin, but don`t remember that.
Michael is a chronic biter. I'll get it under control and then it pops back up a few months later. It's so obnoxious!
My whole family is loud, so I'm never sure where it crosses the line from being loud to yelling. I know it happens sometimes, and I don't have a problem with it. Yelling sometimes is fine, saying mean and hateful things while doing it is not.
I have a biter as well! How do you break that?
I totally agree with rule #6842
90% of people probably think I am a terrible mother because I believe in spanking, but I do. And if J bites F or F bites J, it is an automatic swat, time out and stern talking to. I simply cannot abide one child hurting the other...don't you think that is one of the hardest things about having more than one child? If a stranger's kid knocks one of mine down on the playground, it makes me crazy, but when it is their SIBLING...Wow.
I hope tonight is better and that Jon handles bedtime!
Oh boy, that would drive me up the wall, and will in future, I'm sure. Glad you were able to dig deep and solve the situation. My girls are starting to hit each other a bit- driving me bananas. On such days I too head straight for the wine ;)
Wow, I was taking deep cleansing breaths just reading about Nate's biting. Lana also periodically bites, but its out of love, when we are goofing around--not frustration. Still, its not tolerated and leads to immediate time outs or removal of privileges. The hardest is after the punishment when your kid doesn't even care--no sense of remorse, just laughing? Ugh! That is almost worse than the primary offense!
Sometimes I wish I had an Alex to be sweet with when Lana is just testing my very last nerve! What a sweetie :)
Once again I'd love to be a fly on the wall. You did the right thing -extreme behaviors require extreme intervention. I heard a story once about an adult teacher who bit a child (after the child bit another child) to show the child what it was like - I hope you think that's funny. The wine sounds good!
Well, I think Sandra is close to being right on. Out of 5, I only had 1 biter and we were not tolerating it. So when this 1 would bite one of the other four, I would take him aside and put a lot of pressure on his harm - I guess you could say pinching and tell them in a calm voice that it hurts like this and then he would sit by himself for some time before joining back in. It only took a few "pinching" to stop it completely.
Yuck! Sorry that you got a biter but this "Reason #6842 twins rule: when one acts like a devil, the other sometimes acts like an angel." Made me lol! So true!
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