Yes, I do know the cheerio trick. You know how I endlessly research things! I even bought the colored targets from Babies R Us as a special target treat. Problem? Nate likes to reach in and touch them after he's peed on them. (Thanks, research.)
Potty training twins can provide some ahem... interesting logistics. What may seem to be a simple solution for potty training (PT) a singleton may not always work for twins. While Alex is not in underwear yet, he does sit on the potty. You can probably guess that Alex's highest interest in the potty comes when Nate is on the potty... hence the reason we have TWO little potties. I've listened to so much fighting the last three years that I am NOT going to endure fighting over the big toilet.
When going through the PT process, Jon and I have one overriding goal: get both boys into underwear full-time with a minimum of frustration, arguments, crying, and battles. All of our decisions are based on that goal. Some decisions may seem to be crazy (letting Nate pee standing up at a little potty when we know it will make a mess), but there are many influencing factors behind the decisions.
First influencing factor: Nate's new to PT. Since he is so new to using the potty, he runs to it 15+ times a day claiming he needs to use it. He actually uses it 4-5 times a day. For the 10+ times he doesn't do anything, it's nice for him to have a little potty he can use (or not use) himself. Once he learns better control and understands when he really does need to use it, we'll move to the big potty.
Another influencing factor: Nate's DO IT MYSELF attitude. Every PT book out there says to train when the child is cooperative and eager to please. If we waited for Nate to be eager to please, we might be sending him off to college in diapers.
Last weekend, we asked if he wanted to wear underwear and he was really enthusiastic about it. PT has been relatively easy so far, so I feel like he was emotionally ready, but Nate is still very independent, opinionated, and stubborn. The few times we have tried to force him to sit, he asks for a diaper or refuses to sit and has an accident. He does not want help with ANYTHING. And have I ever mentioned he is a really big crier??
So, we go back to our overriding goal. (And yes, we know he's controlling us but we're taking a gentle approach to PT.)
Last influencing factor: Our downstairs bathroom is a tiny half-bath tucked under our stairs. It contains only a toilet, a sink, and a stepstool. With just those items, it becomes a VERY close fit with a child and parent in there. Alex always insists on checking out Nate's potty action, and Alex is very very very grabby.
Jon and I agreed we would both slowly go insane if trapped inside our half-bath 15+ times a day with Nate perched on a stepstool and Alex all up in our business. So again, until Nate gets better at recognizing his body's signals, we'll keep him on the little potty.
It's interesting to me as the boys grow to see when the twin dynamic comes into play and when it does not. When I think about PT one kid, the decisions are easy - put him on the big potty. But in our house, there's always a second kid running around exactly the same age. And as much as we are focused on training Nate right now, we are also laying the foundation for training Alex.
I have no idea if what we're doing is right, so we're taking it one day at a time. Sometimes it feels eerily like the newborn phase.
PS. Nate peed sitting down all night last night. Then just to keep things interesting, he wrote in pen on Alex's chair.
PPS. Our thoughts are with Jon's family in Fargo, where 10,000 people are sandbagging the Red River in hopes of preventing a catastrophic flood. Similar flooding in 1997 looked like this, so if you could think happy thoughts too, that'd be great.
12 comments:
By the time I got to the last P.S. I felt bad but I laughed really hard at the thought of Nate grabbing for the targets in the toilet after peeing on them.
I admit, I laughed at Nate grabbing the targets after peeing on them too...but then I quickly realized I should be taking notes, note laughing.
After reading all this, sending them to college in diapers seems like a rational approach.
No matter if you have twins or many singles to have to potty train, they are ALL different and as your finding out, what works for one or many won't work for you. And what you feel is ok to in potty training others won't, that goes with raising children period. What I always said, if it is working for my kids and my household, then I'm ok. And it sounds like that be it for you - the way your doing it is working. AND, no matter what, you are going to be controlled during PT time. I think all moms just pray the training goes fast ;) I had 5 singletons as you put it - all boys - and they did well. Normal pee on floor and all the stuff you mention....just the time your in. Good luck!!! Your boys are cute.
I love the phrase, "we would both slowly go insane if trapped inside our half-bath 15+ times a day with Nate perched on a stepstool and Alex all up in our business"
I agree with the end goal of full time underwear no matter how you have to get there.
We havn't tried target with ben as he is still very scared of the big potty. He does seem to be enthralled with his new little scissors... so I have created a monster that cuts up any and all paper (including a stack of graded paperwork).
I stumbled on your blog via themeektwins. You know your children better then anyone so train anyway you deem best. Suggestion for cleanup, try putting a puppy training pad under the potty....will make clean up a bit easier if he overshoots his target. God's Abundant Blessings!
Knowing how much Seth gets into William's business when he's on the potty, I can definitely see the challenges! Talk about grabby! LOL.
When I was training my girls, one of them would spray all over even though she was sitting down. I ended up cutting up a plastic/flannel backed tablecloth and putting them under the potties. it made the clean up much better until she learned to lean down/close her legs.
Oh NO! Did you TRULY just compare it to the newborn phase? I am very, very afraid :) It sounds like you guys are doing a great job. I have a grabby child too. It definitely makes bath time interesting :)
Praying for those in Fargo!
I've stopped posting about PT altogether because I don't want it to become a source of frustration...J is so obviously not ready for it but at this age the incessant commentary about what he "should" be doing drives me crazy. He definitely prefers the big toilet to the potty, but we have little potties all over the house. Still no luck. You can lead a kid to the toilet/potty....
Can I tell you how much I LOVE all the people telling me that "as soon as one gets it the other will follow." I file these comments away with the ones about them "always having a playmate."
BTW, we tried the cheerios thing. Our "bathroom only" cheerios kept ending up in Will's mouth.
Your posts teach us all! I'm on the "wait until college" team. :)I always find it fascinating to read about the unique ways that both Alex and Nate approach these milestones. Praying for Fargo!
We have a small half bath downstairs and it was a nightmare to deal with when we potty trained the twins. I ended up sticking their little potties in the foyer right outisde the bathroom. But still there was lots of jostling in the bathroom when one wanted to use the toilet and the other had to get in and watch. I NEED BREATHING ROOM! haha. Also that bathroom now perpetually smells like pee no matter how many times a day I clean it. Ugh. P.S. Your twins may decide they want to clean their potties themselves, it is ALWAYS a disaster, so keep a close eye out. :)
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