Don't say I didn't warn you.
Jon's still in Dallas, so to spice things up tonight, I decided to let the boys draw all over themselves and each other with washable markers. Don't worry! I took pictures which I will post later this week. They needed to take an extra-long bath to get all the marker off, so they were in there a long time.
I drained the tub and as I took Nate out of the tub and dried him off, I heard Alex making a very familiar grunting noise. I looked at him and asked in horror, "Are you pooping?!?!?!?" Apparently I scared him because he stopped grunting but... a piece of poop fell out of butt and landed in the tub.
2.75 years with two boys. Never been peed on. No tub poop accidents until now. That is one mighty fine streak broken.
Nate started screaming, I mean really screaming and crying hysterically. He would intake as much breath as possible then scream, "There's poop in the tub!" then cry until he ran out of breath then scream again.
But I could not stop to worry about screaming. I scooped up a wet Alex from the tub and plopped him on a little potty, hoping to contain him and the mess. In mid-air, the second half of the poop fell out of his butt onto the floor. Then Alex started crying because Nate was still crying and Nate screamed even louder. "Poop in the tub! Poop on the floor! Alex pooped!" It was deafening. It's not like we have a huge bathroom, nor is it acoustically designed for two crying toddlers.
I grabbed a tub of wipes to clean up the mess. Why wipes? I don't know! Stupid stupid stupid. I flushed everything and it immediately clogged the toilet. So then I had to run to the bathroom closet, grab the plunger, run back, lift the lid of the toilet to stop the water before it overflowed, and unclog the toilet.
And still the screaming continued. The poop was long gone but oh yes, the screaming went on and on. With much effort and tenderness (and hand washing and butt wiping), I finally got both of them calmed down, dressed, and in bed.
I cleaned the tub. I cleaned the floor. I'm currently washing the towels in hot water. And then I am going to go enjoy a MUCH deserved glass of red wine.
18 comments:
oh I knew this was coming at some point. While we have not had a poop in the tub we've had peeing (from outside the tub into the tub) like a total frat boy.
I hope you enjoy that much earned glass of wine over I love money!
Oh you poor thing! I'm laughing my butt off, but I truly do feel sorry for you!
JTC has already done this, but it wasn't nearly as dramatic.
How have you never gotten peed on?
How evil am I that I laughed while reading your story. Just curious, is LauraC just a little OCD?
I TOTALLY needed to read this tonight. While I can completely feel your pain I laughed my ASS off the entire time I read this post. Mostly because I would SO picture it. Like I was THERE. Thankfully we've only had poop in the tub when they were infants but there has been pee ALOT. And Maddie always tries to drink the water - yuck! Isn't it funny how some things just set them off - like the sky is falling and it's the end of the world and other things go by unnoticed??? I hope you are enjoying your glass of red wine - you DESERVE it after a night like that! Oh - and have another one for me since I'm preggo and can't drink ;-)
I have tears running down my face. The whole "poop flying thru mid air" image just put me over the top! Bummer that you had to deal with it when home alone!
Enjoy your wine, you deserve it!
(and I love the washable marker body coloring idea....will definitely try that soon!)
Oh my gosh, I LOVE poop stories. That was great! We haven't had poop in the tub yet, but we did have a "poop in the jumperoo" experience that might be hard for us to top!
this used to happen to me every stinkin night when riley was one-ish (younger than your boys so i couldn't really reason with her at any level). it was during the TF era so i would do the hr long bart ride and pick up from day care, hurry hurry home to feed her dinner, stick her in the tub, find a butt nugget. every night. it became the nightly routine. ;) you can only shake your head after the first few times...
How I would have loved to be a fly on the wall. It's times like that you wish you could go back and replay it, watch it as an outsider. Then laugh your butt off. I haven't had poop in the tub, but I've been peed on. In fact, I was peed on today.
I'm sorry to laugh at your misery, but LMFAO! At least you have turned your misfortune into entertainment for others.
I do have to say that if I hadn't actually met you and KNOW that you are real, I'd really question how a woman with twin boys has never been peed on. Michael peed on me the first time I changed his diaper in the hospital.
I feel sorry for you too, but I'm also laughing so hard! We had a long streak without poop in the tub, too, but I think it's inevitable! The first time it happened the girls were with a babysitter. I should have felt sorry for her, and I did, but I was mostly glad that it didn't happen to me!
Oy...better you than me, sister. Although poop is generally my biggest reason for drinking. Specifically why I had a hell of a hangover yesterday.
Also, I cannot believe that with two boys you have never been peed on?!?
I'm trying so hard to keep the laughter in since I'm at work - I'm shaking with the silent laughs, though.
I can't believe you've made it this far (with two especially) without having poop in the tub. I've already had one experience. It was a couple of months ago, and I didn't realize it until I went to empty the tub. Ugh. Had to scrub the tub and then re-bathe the already dried of baby.
Also, I'm absolutely AMAZED that you've never been peed on - how is that possible?
I don't know how you made it this long with TWO kids and no poop in the tub but it sounds like the experience more than made up for your long streak. I know you are probably able to laugh about it now but man, what an ordeal! I laughed almost as hard as when I read your fireplace story.
OMG! This is bringing back very scary memories of our first poop in the tub last month.
As hilarious as this story is I'm sure it wasn't too funny when it was happening, but next month you'll look back at this and laugh your head off like I am right now!!
Okay Laura, I'm sorry, and this almost never happens, but I was just laughing aloud at my computer reading this. Yuck. I'm so sorry. And without being to yell "help" to adult #2. Yuck.
That said, 2.75 years, 2 boys, and never peed on??? Eric was peed on about day 3 in the NICU, and we've both had our share of peed on (and poop in the tub) moments. I guess the universe finally caught up to you!
sadly, poop in the tub is a regular in our house. it's one of the reasons I can't give them a bath when I'm home alone.
I've been letting them run around naked while I dress the other one in PJs and they have both peed on the floor in the 5 minutes it takes me to dress one. and then other day, zoe pooped. on the carpet. chloe was only half dressed, but I scooped her off the table so I could clean it up. she looked as zoe and said "eww. poopy." at least it made me laugh
II AM TOTALLY cracking up. OMG We have NEVER had poop in the tub....
Oh my gosh! I recently found your blog through HDYDI, and have read a bit through your adventures with your boys... and this one cracked me up (spoken as the mom of girls who are still too small to bathe in the big tub, so I haven't seen this yet...and now that this made me laugh, karma insures that it will happen to me as well!)
(But really? You haven't been peed on? I got peed on my first week with GIRLS!)
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