THE STORY OF LAURA'S ROBO-EAR
Leading up to our wedding, Jon and I were bickering a lot because I thought he was mumbling and he thought I was losing my hearing. To prove him wrong, I got a hearing test. It showed mild hearing loss in my right ear. Doh! Note to self: do not let doctors get involved in relationship disputes with their scientific evidence.
Over the next 6 months, my hearing rapidly got worse until I was functionally deaf in my right ear. After a lot of testing and a CT scan, I was diagnosed with otosclerosis. It is a genetic condition where deposits build up on a bone in the ear. I had surgery (a stapedectomy) to correct it and my hearing went back to 100%. Did you know that was possible? That if you lose your hearing they might be able to fix it with surgery? I didn't know it and here's where the story gets crazy.
The surgery involved drilling a hole through one of the bones in my ear - IN MY HEAD - with a laser (!!) and inserting a titanium piston. Contemplating a c-section was nothing compared to contemplating letting someone drill a hole in my head with a laser.
The recovery was brutal. Before my surgery, I could run 10 miles in less than 90 minutes. After my surgery, it took an entire week before I could walk a block. I was so dizzy and nauseated. Morning sickness was nothing compared to the recovery of this surgery. It really screws with your balance to drill holes in your inner ear.
If I had any doubt about marrying Jon, it was gone with the surgery. During the first 9 days of my recovery, I was not allowed to shower because "you could get bacteria into your brain, develop an infection and die." If a relationship can make it through 9 days of no showers during the biggest heat wave of the year in Chicago (heat index 110+) in an uninsulated house with only window AC units, it can make it through anything.
During a pre-surgery visit, I saw my surgeon vacuum out a guy's ear. It made the worst noise I have ever heard in my life. The night before my post-surgery checkup, I was in tears worried about getting my ear suctioned. Jon made a great point - they just cut into my ear drum, removed part of a bone in my head, then reattached my ear drum. NO WAY were they going to put a vacuum in my ear. I was still close to hysterics so Jon bet his entire salary I would not get my ear suctioned.
The next day, Jon took me to Northwestern. I had not washed my hair in 10 days, I had a huge bandage covering my right ear, and I could not walk a straight line. People were literally staring. The surgeon looked in my ear, said there was something blocking my ear drum, and proceeded to SUCTION MY EAR...the ear where they had just reattached my ear drum after drilling into my head.
The look on Jon's face was pure and complete shock. I have seen that look twice in my life:
1. Ear suction
2. Seeing two babies on an ultrasound screen where there should have been one
My favorite bookmark is a check Jon wrote me for his entire salary with the memo "Ear suction."
My bionic ear has an average life of 10 years and then most patients have to go through the surgery again. I had the surgery a lot younger than most patients, so my surgeon in Chicago and my doctor here both believe my bionic ear will last longer. However I had the surgery at such a young age because the progression of my otosclerosis was so rapid, so there's no guarantee.
At some point, I'll be too old or too sick to go through such a tough recovery. Hearing aids won't help if my bionic ear stops working. I will be deaf. And I have a 75% chance of this happening in my left ear as well.
I worry about Nate and Alex. Otosclerosis is genetic. Do either of them have it? Will they be blind-sided with hearing loss like I was? Will we be the bionic ear family? When considering the entire situation, it made sense for our family to learn sign language. If one day I make decision I will not repair my hearing, it will be good to know I can ask Nate, Alex, or Jon for some milk.
An interesting postscript to this story is that for two months after my ear surgery, I could not do anything that might dislodge the piston in my ear, such as exercise. Sex was specifically on the prohibited list. This was a huge disappointment because we were READY to start trying for a baby. The first day I was cleared for "normal activity" resulted in Nate and Alex.
I was measuring large during my pregnancy and we were asked many many times if we were sure on the conception date. I can't tell you how many times I had to say, "Well I had this titanium piston inserted into my head and we weren't allowed to have sex for a couple of months because it would cause me to go deaf so yes I am 100% SURE."
An interesting postscript to this story is that for two months after my ear surgery, I could not do anything that might dislodge the piston in my ear, such as exercise. Sex was specifically on the prohibited list. This was a huge disappointment because we were READY to start trying for a baby. The first day I was cleared for "normal activity" resulted in Nate and Alex.
I was measuring large during my pregnancy and we were asked many many times if we were sure on the conception date. I can't tell you how many times I had to say, "Well I had this titanium piston inserted into my head and we weren't allowed to have sex for a couple of months because it would cause me to go deaf so yes I am 100% SURE."
July 2005 ear surgery
10 months later, May 2006 baby surgery
14 comments:
Two things:
1. although the story sounds painful and not fun at all - hilarious! glad that you can laugh about it now and
2. nerd alert! - as an auditor in the manufacturing industry, I have actually seen the process where they start w black sand, add some chlorine, vacuum distill it and turn it into titanium (the metal in your head) - amazing process
There is no appropriate response, except to say that I am SO glad I found your blog.
Wow Laura! What an ordeal. Maybe by the time you need your next bionic ear, they will have invented something that will last forever and a procedure that will be easier. Does anyone else in your immediate family have hearing loss? Thanks for sharing your story.
I am sorry you had to go through that, but boy does it make for fun reading. =)
Fertile Mertile is all I will say and secretly I'm jealous.
Wow Laura - You are really a strong woman to go through all that! Hope that if there is a "next" bionic ear it can last another 50 years.
crazy, crazy, craziness! hopefully the boys will get jon's ear genes, as well as his ability to eat his words and write his wife a check for his salary!
Thank you for sharing. That is quite a story! It is so interesting to read about why you are so dedicated to sign language, too, because I think of all the parenting blogs I read, you seem to have taught your kids the most and be the best at keeping up on it (I'm jealous because as soon as spoken language increased at our house, I got lazy about it).
Wow!
Seriously Laura, you need to write a book. Your stories always have me in stitches. (Laughing with you of course, as major ear surgery isn't usually a funny thing, but the details are great.) Thanks for sharing!
Wow! Medical stuff always fascinates me and I never cease to be impressed with the wonders of modern medicine.
Very smart of you to think ahead and have dual purposes for teaching the boys sign language.
Geez, you are funny.
Wow! This has to be the most interesting thing I've read in a long time.
I remember reading something about your bionic ear and thought you were just being 'Laura' :) but damn girlfriend, that's crazy.
I hope that Nate and Alex get to hear the story about the day they were conceived.
...sorry, that sounded weird. How about this instead:
I hope that Nate and Alex get to hear the cool story of the bionic ear. Maybe the bionic ear caused two eggs to be released?
wow Laura.
I am going (possibly) to have surgery to insert a titanium screw abutment in my head. (Think frankenstein but smaller) for a new type of hearing aid The BAHA (sits behind and above the ear ...and then in three months they will attach the BAHA -bone anchored hearing aid.
I believe it bypasses the middle ear (I had damaged middle ear bones and perforated drum from ear infections) ...we will see if I chicken out.
I am glad your bionic ear fixed your hearing.
The BAHA will hopefully allow me to not wear my in the ear hearing aid and clear up the constant recurrent infections ...my sudiologist scared me too by telling me I could get a brain infection.
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