Jamie and I took the kids to a mall to get Yasmine a Webkinz. I feel so hip knowing about Webkinz in a completely lame way. We went to the play area to let Jace and Yasmine blow off steam while Jamie and I rested. I've been overwhelmed watching older toddlers running around these play areas, fearful of my future with TWO BOYS and all their energy. I like having my blinders on, dealing just with today and the worries I have now.
A mom strolled up with a baby in a helmet and I instantly felt on the verge of tears. The people next to me whispered to each other about the helmet while they tried to hide their staring. It was so weird to be on the other side, to NOT be the mom of the kid in the helmet. It was so weird to not be the one worrying about my kid's head, how people would react, and feeling self-conscious being in public. I hurt for this mom and what she had to have gone through leading up to the helmet.
The first year with twins passed in a blur. We did the bare minimum to get by. Now that we have more time, so many feelings we had no time to acknowledge keep springing up at unexpected times. Every time I think I've finally FELT everything from that year, something surprises me and takes my breath away. Maybe this will happen the rest of my life. Maybe this is part of being a mom.
3 comments:
I totally understand, Laura. Just this afternoon I was reading an article in Us (seriously, Us Weekly!) about Ryan and Trista Sutter's new baby. She had complications and had an emergency c-section. The baby was 4 weeks premature and spent 10 days in the hospital. I started tearing up with both empathy for her and memories for me.
We see the world through completely different eyes now; it's as though we've been installed with a "mom filter."
I am now going through this same thing with my daughter who was almost 6 weeks premature. She is now 4 months old..and yes, the time does fly. You have no idea how much better your "Mommy Journal" is making me feel. Thank you so very much for this! I appreciate you sharing your story!
Christy
I know I am just reading your story and I am so happy to hear things all worked out for your son. My grandson is in the beginning stages of being diagnosed, so I am doing some research. But I can't help but comment on your day out with your child (now out of his helmet). When you saw another child in a helmet all you said was that you were basically relieved it wasn't you and your son being stared at and whispered about. Did it ever occur to you to take your son over to this woman and show her how well the helmet had worked for your child. You probably could have really lifted her spirits! Take what Blessing God gave you and don't keep it to yourself. Spread the love and joy to all!
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