Twins are totally the rage in Hollywood now and I like to think I started the trend. Technically Jon is half responsible but it's my body that released two eggs at the same time so I'm taking full credit. I'd like to send some notes to some celebrity twin parents:
Dear McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey), I saw the pics of your twins in People magazine. If I weren't already married to Jon, you would be my next choice as Mr. Case. You get my official "Awesome Twin Dad" seal of approval since you are clearly helping your wife with the twins. Maybe we can be friends? I can give you all kinds of twin tips and maybe even some hand-me-down clothes. Call me.
Dear Puff Daddy, No I am not going to call you P. Diddy. You can't just change your name when you feel like it. I saw your recent pictorial where your wife looked perfectly coiffed, showered, and smoking hot in the pictures. You had already picked out your twin girls' first pairs of diamond earrings. It is clear someone else is doing all the hard work taking care of your twins. Parents of newborn twins feel lucky to shower. And you clearly have no grasp on reality if your fatherly contribution is buying diamond earrings for your babies. If you joined my twins group, I would ignore you at the meetings so don't even bother.
Dear Brangelina, I know you do not have twins, I just had to comment on the recent pics of Zahara and Shiloh in the MacLaren Twin Rally. A simple Amazon or Babies R Us search would have shown you tons of poor user comments about that stroller. There are so many other superior twin strollers on the market. With your new Vietnamese adoption about to happen, you should really spend some time researching triplet strollers before you just go out and buy one.
Dear Marcia Cross, I am really sorry your twin girls were two months early. That is something I would never wish on anyone. I feel for you and your husband and the time you are spending in the NICU. Hopefully you will look back on this time as the time you were blessed with two children and you will forget the tough times. May your children come home healthy soon.
P.S. McDreamy, Jon is in Australia next week so I will have plenty of time to chat.