After re-reading my list of things I said I would never do as a mom, I needed a little pick-me-up. Having twins is about compromise... rarely do women dream of holding TWO babies in their arms. And rarely do women dream of taking care of their little crying baby and having to listen to their OTHER baby cry. Having twins has taught us what is important to us (health, happiness) and what is not. As much as Jon and I have had to compromise, we've stuck to our important resolutions.
1. Jon and I are a team. That has been our motto since day one. We make all the baby decisions together. Jon does 50% of the work taking care of the boys. I don't force this on Jon - he wants to be involved and wants the kids to be attached to him just as much as they are attached to me. There is no "woman's work" in our house. It is OUR work to do laundry, wash bottles, take care of the kids, etc.
2. Don't sweat the small stuff. Babies fall down, get hurt, get sick, get fussy, vomit on puffs, and do all kinds of things that are not good for them. We agreed we would not be overprotective parents who freak out over these things. One day I was at day care dropping off Nate after yet another doctor's appointment and the teachers were telling me how impressed they are that Jon and I never get phased by all the illnesses, bumps, scratches, bites, etc. That boosted my spirits so high!
3. Take things one day at a time. This started with my contractions at 21 weeks and has never stopped. When one of us starts getting overwhelmed, we remind each other to take a deep breath and focus on today. We had to adjust this to be 3 hours at a time when the boys were newborns, but even now we never borrow trouble. It's helped us enjoy what we have RIGHT NOW.
4. Treat the boys as individuals, not as a unit. There is a reason we call them "the boys" and we don't dress them alike. We want them to feel like individuals. In person we say, "Hi Nate! Hi Alex!" not "Hi Nate and Alex!" Small things really, but we wanted to start this trend from day one.
5. Keep a journal. I knew if I decided to keep a paper journal, it would never have a priority in my life. I barely remember the first 6 months so this online journal is precious to me. Even though I enjoy having readers, this journal is still for me. It is my "taking time for yourself" moment every day.