My New Year’s resolutions

I’m not usually into resolutions because I try to live a pretty happy, balanced life. This year, I do have a few.

1. No stressing about losing the baby weight immediately.
2. Try to remain positive about being pregnant since it is a blessing I had no fertility problems.
3. Stop calling the baby Alien before it’s born

Our "big" ultrasound is on Monday!!!

Belly button update

Since my uterus is very high, my belly button is perilously close to becoming an outtie. It’s less than half an inch deep right now. I give it less than 4 weeks before it pops out. I thought this wouldn’t happen until the very end!

And while I’ve given up on the dream that my baby will have blue eyes, I still hope my baby has an innie belly button.

More skin itching

I’m sick, so a short entry today. My skin on my back hasn’t itched this bad since I had chicken pox. This is a sign that I am expanding again. No stretch marks so far, but if they are to appear, most women get them in the next 3-4 weeks. Cross your fingers for me, I’ve got more bikini years in me!

I don’t really mind the itching because it is a great excuse to have Jon rub lotion on my back.

16 week belly photo

We had an appointment at the birth center this morning. Jenny said she thinks it’s very unlikely I’m having twins. While my uterus is very high, it is also very narrow. My blood pressure and sugar levels look good, and Alien still has a strong heartbeat.

None of my sports bras fit anymore, so I’ll probably wear shirts for the rest of the photos. Original measurements: 36-26-36, weight: 134. Current measurements: 39-36-41, weight: 144. You can see from the change in measurements where the extra 10 pounds is going – everywhere!

Leaving for Phoenix

Jon and I leave tonight for Phoenix for Christmas with my family. I’m very excited to see everyone and we’re definitely making at least one trip to In n Out for a double-double (animal style) and a chocolate shake. I’m making the best of my need for protein and calories.

This year, it’s been hard for us to get into the Christmas spirit. In Chicago, Christmas means cold weather, wind and a lack of sunshine. Raleigh is warm, not windy, and so sunny. Jon and I had a lot of Christmas traditions – drinking hot chocolate at Zoo Lights, drinking gluhwein at Christkindlmarkt, and checking out the huge tree at Daley Plaza and all the other decorations downtown. Because I haven’t been feeling well, we didn’t start any traditions here this year.

I think being with family will help it feel like Christmas. And seeing the kids open gifts from Santa will be a treat that I’ve never gotten to experience with my nice and nephew. It’s exciting to think that next year, we’ll have our own child on Christmas morning and we’ll be used to the warmth and sun for Christmas!

Have a great Christmas! No more posts until Dec 27, which will be my 16 week picture.

I don’t know whether to be more excited that I’m pregnant or that I’m finally excited to be pregnant

It is no secret that I haven’t enjoyed being pregnant. A lot of that is due to the fact that I had such a hard recovery from my ear surgery. I felt dizzy, sick, tired and nauseated for weeks. As soon as I started to feel better then bam, morning sickness, repeat the above. It’s been hard to have months of not feeling like myself.

It’s now been 11 days with no nausea and my energy has been coming back a little more each day. My belly has stayed the same size for two weeks, and I’ve started to become comfortable in my new body. I’m able to eat everything again. A lot of my miscarriage worries are behind me, so I feel like I can relax.

I knew my attitude was improving, but over the weekend it became very clear just how much. I noticed that whenever I eat chocolate, the baby starts moving around. I’ve started to enjoy this! This is huge for me. Before now, I was completely freaked out about something growing inside of me, but now I try to find ways to feel the baby move. I can barely wait for the ultrasound to get to see this baby!

PS Tonight is the season finale of Nip/Tuck and they will finally reveal the identity of the Carver. Jon’s still convinced it’s Quentin, the creepy bi-sexual doctor. My top choice is Bobolit, the nitrous-addicted doctor who tried to cut off his own face. I also think it could be Ava, the trans-sexual who killed her own son. This is the best evening soap opera since Melrose Place!

Alien’s first hockey game

For our first anniversary (paper), I got Jon tickets to a hockey game. Actually, I got second row tickets to watch the Devils (Jon’s favorite team) play the Hurricanes. I had planned to get first row, but it was impossible since this was a very popular game.

Our seats were awesome. It’s hard to appreciate how fast and how big the players are, but sitting that close, we were impressed. There were so many hits right in front of us and one hit left a huge streak across the glass. I flinched a couple of times at slapshots coming straight for my face.

But let me get back to Alien. The Hurricanes scored two goals within 20 seconds of each other and the crowd went wild. There was a huge foghorn that was blaring and Alien did not like it one bit. I started to get this really sick, anxious feeling all over and it wasn’t coming from me. I tried to sit there and think calming, relaxing thoughts. Apparently, Alien hates seeing the Devils lose as much as Jon does.

The first of many crying jags

Last night, I broke down crying to Jon for now what appears to be no apparent reason. At the time, I had a lot of reasons why I was upset. Now I believe it was a huge surge of hormones. After crying for an hour, I was back to watching Friends and enjoying myself.

My main reason for getting upset is that my body is changing so rapidly and I feel really out of control. The sports bras I bought two weeks ago are already too snug. My stomach hangs out of all of my winter pajamas. My stomach is now solid and the skin feels taut after eating. I couldn’t eat my Indian food last night because the spiciness was causing instant heartburn.

I was also upset about 1000 other things. Will I be a good mom? Will Alien be messed up because I’ve hated being pregnant so far? How will I handle labor? How big will my breasts eventually get? Will our kids be those weird vegetarian kids?

The name game

Jon and I found out the name of our soon-to-be-born nephew this week, Chris and Brenda’s baby. Jon and I plan to share the gender of our baby with everyone but the name is something we want to keep for ourselves to announce after the baby is born.

Currently, we have 14 girl names and 12 boy names we like. We have no plan to narrow down the choices until much, much closer to my due date. I like the idea of picking out a few names, seeing the baby and deciding which name fits best.

Names Jon vetoed: Katherine, Kyan, Lola
Names Laura vetoed: Julian, Alex, Adam
Names we love but can’t use: Andrew, Ben, James, Ryan, Thomas, Matthew
Names we can’t use for obvious reasons (say them out loud): Justin, Grace, Casey

In the second trimester!

As I am finding out with pregnancy, it is very difficult to find answers to simple questions, such as “Am I out of the first trimester?” I found there are three different ways to calculate trimesters and each calculation produces a different date.

One method uses developmental stages to divide up a pregnancy. At 12 weeks, the embryo becomes a fetus and the placenta takes over. My date: November 25.

The second method takes the 40 week gestation period, divides by 3. My date: December 5.

The third method takes the post-conception 38 week period, divides by 3, then adds 2 weeks. My date: December 14.

It’s safe to officially declare I am in the second trimester! For the record, both my midwife and my favorite pregnancy book use the developmental stage date so I really consider myself to be a few weeks into the second trimester. My third trimester begins March 10, just in time for me to lose energy before my birthday.

4 straight days with no nausea

I’ve been complaining so much about my nausea that I had to rave about my lack of nausea. It’s been 4 straight days that I have had no nausea and this morning is also looking good so far. These four days have been the best of my pregnancy! I feel much more tired than my usual self, but I’ve been going out for walks with Jon and eating like a normal person again.

Other things have started to improve for me as well. I’m able to accept some pressure on my stomach without feeling queasy. I’m able to lie on my back for short periods of time. My Flintstones don’t make me feel like throwing up. I can look at food (and eggs) again without feeling like gagging. Best of all, I’m able to cuddle with Jon at night without fear of throwing up on him!

Things happen when you need them

I was very grouchy last week, and I started to doubt ONCE AGAIN whether it is all worth it. Wednesday and Thursday my nausea was so bad that I felt like screaming. Most women have their nausea disappear by the 14th week, but it’s not happening for me. Sometimes I feel like this pregnancy is pushing me to my limits.

Thursday night, I woke up in the middle of the night with a strange movement low in my stomach. It’s difficult to describe, but it felt like a small lemon moving back and forth. In the morning, I asked Jamie if I should call the midwife and she said it was the baby moving!

I didn’t get overly emotional or excited, but it helped my attitude to have a reminder as to why I am going through this. My nausea subsided a lot over the weekend, and I was even able to go out to dinner with Jon on Saturday night. We went to a place that serves both thai and sushi – a great compromise since Jon hates sushi. So far, not only does this baby love chocolate croissants, it loves unagi because I could have eaten 50 pieces.

Glad to be in Raleigh

Jon is in Chicago for work and was planning to fly back last night. A big snowstorm stopped that from happening. Chicago got at least 6 inches of snow in just a few hours, and a plane hit a car at Midway. Jon is supposed to come back tonight, but I’m sure O’Hare will be a zoo today.

When Jon and I were talking about moving, I told Jon I never wanted to be pregnant in Chicago. Living in the city means a lot of walking, and that means dealing with snow and ice on a daily basis. When it snows, not everyone shovels their sidewalk. I never wiped out but I saw enough wipeouts to know it was bound to happen.

I never wanted to push a stroller through snow, invest money in tons of maternity winter clothes, suit up a baby in layers of clothing, or have to dig my car out of the snow with kids in tow. I am SO thankful that Jon and I were able to move this year!

Guessing the gender

I’ve reached my peak in grouchiness this week, so I’m going to write an entry that has nothing to do with my complaints. I suggest that no one call me unless they want to get an earful about me hating being pregnant right now.

We found out this week that our big ultrasound is January 2. I should be far enough along that if Alien cooperates, we should find out the gender. For years, Jon and I have talked about wanting girls, but since day one, it has felt like a boy to me. In fact, I even said to Liz and Andy that I was 99% certain it is a boy.

That feeling has gone away the last couple of weeks, and I now have no feeling either way. Since I’m so big already, this has me scared that I’m having twins – one boy and one girl. Either way, on January 2 we hope to see ONE healthy, active baby.

Secret single behavior

Everyone who lives with a partner learns to give up their secret single behaviors. With Jon out of town, I’m indulging in mine. I absolutely love working on crazy, complex projects and I gave up years ago trying to talk Jon into ALL of my schemes. I also love listening to my ipod at a very loud volume and singing along. I KNOW I shouldn’t do that because not only do I have a new bionic ear, but I also have a terrible, terrible singing voice.

Last night, I decided to make sushi. Last year alone, I spent over $1000 at Tokyo Lunchbox. That money could have been spent on an awesome sushi cooking class. Jon hates the smell of vinegar, so this was my golden opportunity to finally make some mushroom-avocado rolls. I won’t go into the details, but the sushi looked half-decent, tasted amazing, and my singing was extraordinary, particularly during “Rock with You” and “P.Y.T.” by Michael Jackson.

My kind of midwife

One of the midwives called yesterday to confirm my ultrasound appointment. While I was on the phone with her, I asked when I could expect my nausea to subside. I still need to eat small meals every 2-3 hours or else I feel very nauseated, otherwise I’m just a little nauseated all day. It’s been 10 weeks (!!!) of nausea and I’m ready for it to END.

Her response: “Think of morning sickness as oscillating toward a mean, where the mean is a lack of nausea.” Now this is the kind of nerd talk I like!

Thank goodness for my little sister

Growing up, I never asked Jamie for advice which is why, at age 31, I still have no idea how to put on eye shadow. During my pregnancy, Jamie has been indispensable for giving me advice and answering questions. I’m not sure if it’s because we’re close or because I’ve seen her giving birth, but I feel comfortable asking her embarrassing pregnancy questions. Not only does she have answers, she answers her cell phone any time of day and doesn’t make me feel dumb.

Sunday’s question – my butt has grown and my underwear is too tight. Should I move up to a medium or buy maternity underwear? And what is maternity underwear anyway? While it is strange to take on the role of little sister, it is awesome to have someone be such a big help. This is how I learned that maternity underwear = granny panties. I bought the mediums and also got some larges, since I’m sure my butt is not done expanding.

P.S. Jon leaves for a business trip today, not back until Thursday night. Boo hoo.

Skin stretching pain

While my stomach has expanded quite rapidly, to my surprise, it hasn’t hurt. My belly button has also been growing shallower, and this week, I have had pain in the skin surrounding it. My skin has also started itching around my hips, a sign that skin is starting to expand also. This is all just so weird to me!

This weekend, we’re putting up the Christmas tree and decorations, and enjoying some chocolate croissants that we got from Roxane yesterday. I’ll be sure to tell the baby the croissants we’re enjoying are from grandma!

I am in denial

Now that I’ve been feeling better, I’ve started to focus on learning about childbirth. We are required by the birth center to take childbirth classes, but there are so many methods from which to choose. I am also, like most women, afraid of the big day and want to be as prepared as possible. Last night, I read a book about pregnancy, specifically the sections on pain management in the different phases of labor.

As I was reading, I realized I am in complete denial about having to have a baby. It hasn’t really hit me that I have to actually go through labor and produce a baby. While I’ve always wanted kids, I’ve never wanted to be pregnant. My friend Ann and I used to discuss figuring out a way to grow babies in test tubes or setting up a surrogate mother program. I still talk to Jon daily about wishing a stork would just drop off a baby at our house with our genes.

When I was planning to be with Jamie for Jace’s birth, I read a lot of books and I was also in complete denial. It wasn’t until the nurse said that it was time to push that I finally freaked out and thought, “Holy crap, I am going to witness a live birth!” I really hope my own awareness moment comes well before I go into labor.